A
male
age
36-40,
*ouLKid
writes:Hi :-(I'm a college student in a foreign country.My ex and i are still living together in an apartment that i pay for and the lease is on my name.We broke up about 2 years ago. Our breakup was not a bitter one, since no one cheated or anything.We just drifted apart. The problem now is, he has nowhere to go and i just can't kick him out.Although we've broken up, i care a lot about him as a friend.In fact i'd say we are very close.Before we broke up though, i noticed he'd let his visa expire and he did not renew it. Now he doesn't have a job, he has nowhere to go and i really can't help him with anything else except give him a roof to live.We are very unhappy since its hard for me to move on.I desperately want to move on but how can i when i have my ex boyfriend living with me? Should i kick him out? I don't think i have the heart to.Please help!Thank you in advance :-)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, SouLKid +, writes (24 August 2009):
SouLKid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice y'all.Actually prior to asking this question i've already told him 2 months ago that he has to live by the end of this month.The reason i posted the question was to make sure my decision was the right one and reasonable.I do wish him well though but as you've mentioned i have all the right to move on with my life.Thanks Again.Love, SouLKid :-)
A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (23 August 2009):
 You are not his mother. He's a big boy now and should be fully able to look after himself. I'm assuming he's getting a free ride from you? Maybe it's heartless, you need to give him a month or so to move out, you need to move on with your life x
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (23 August 2009):
 You have every right to move on with your life guilt free. You have provided a roof for this man for two years and now it's time to break the deal.
He is living in a country illegally and you could get into serious trouble for sheltering him.
If I were you, I would tell him that time is running out. Tell him you are worried about the situation and even though you care for him, it's time he sorted his life out. He needs to sort out his visa status, get a job or move back to his homeland. Give him a time frame un til eviction day. That way he will know he has to act.
You cannot continue to support someone like this when a relationship is over, and seriously some people will happily let you continue to do so and play the guilt card.
Another alternative is to find another apartment, let your lease run out on the place you are now and tell him your moving out.
Good luck and I hope you find a solution to move on!!
Aunty Em xxx
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