A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm going on a second date with a girl in a couple of days. We went out for drinks on our first date, which was also the first time we met. Overall, the date went well; it wasn't a smash, but we chatted for over an hour and seem to have some things in common. Our second date will involve going out to a show, during which we will have very little time to talk. I would hope the evening would not be over at that point, but I'm not quite sure how to keep the night going. Any ideas? I thought about inviting her over to listen to a record and chat, but I don't want that to be misconstrued as an inappropriate escalation attempt. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (30 October 2014):
 Going somewhere for a second date where you can't do much talking isn't very smart!
Have a drink/light meal before or afterwards with her, but not at your place. Get to know her better first, and give her the chance to get to know you too.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2014): I would never go to your place unless I wanted to have sex. 2 nd date is too early for home visits. Ask her for drinks or late bite to eat.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (30 October 2014):
 I'm with Ciar, I'd ask her out for a late snack or drinks afterwards NOT back to your place, because even IF you are not trying to pressure for sex, it can EASILY be construed as such.
And then when you ASK her out for the 3rd date GO somewhere, where you can TALK to each other. Maybe pack a picnic basket and a blanket.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (30 October 2014):
 I would definitely NOT invite her over to your place. It's way too soon to be hanging out at each other's homes.
Ask her if she's up for going for a coffee afterward.
A lot of folks out there seem to make the mistake of spending too much time together or on the phone too soon. Pace yourselves. The quicker these romances bloom, the sooner they wither.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (30 October 2014):
 Keep the night going, like with sex or something close to that following?
My last second date was in a theatre. On the first date we kissed two or three times and that was it. On the second date we kissed more and then just couldn't stop. At the end we only watched like 10 minutes of the show. That's just me though. You have to get her in the mood. If she's not crazy about you by the second date then there's no use inviting her to your place.
Every woman is different. If your date is cautious and make you do the 3 month waiting test, then your only tact is to train yourself to be patient and nothing more. There are women who are innocent about the whole dating game and don't know that going to your place means more intimacy. While there other women would be so vigilant and quickly say no to your idea. It really depends on who you are talking to. I am so glad I am woman. I simply don't have patience.
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