A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A lot of things happened since I was here last. I tried to be away from the man i used to date in the past years and i met a new guy with whom i get married. Although i feel happy, i think a lot of time about my ex boyfriend. He calls me sometimes or i call him and we talk sometimes, not often. I hadn't told him that i would get married before, only after when he called me. We met once, as i wanted to see him and told him about the my new way of life. Although he was interested in what i told him, he wanted to continue to meet each other as before. He called me sometimes again, but we didn't meet again as i avoided it. However i think about him a lot of time and i think about how it would be to be together although he denied that possibility from the start. I always compare (in my mind) him with my husband and i find him better, although that all happen unconsciously and i know that my husband is a good man with feelings. The other thing is that although it has passed a lot of time i continue to feel emmotionally more near with my ex than my husband. I wouldn't give a lot of interest to that although it is important for me to feel emmotionally well, as i have a good time usually with my husband although the emotional gap remains between us but another problem appeared. Although we try with my husband to get a child for all the time being after our marriage we haven't succeeded yet. The doctors can't find any particular reason for this. I feel as this happens because my unconcious mind reacts because i want strongly to have a child but my unconscious self doesn't want this. I fight with my self so as my husband takes the position of my ex in my heart and feel united with him but it's difficult to achieve this. How can i get over the other man completely and feel united with my husband at the end? All these emotions have so great importance in my life and the life of my husband although i haven't told him anything about these ever, and i wouldn't ever told him anything.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2012): It's understandable that you feel this way. Trying to get pregnant, having contact with someone you used to have feelings for (and perhaps you still care for?). It's complicated.You are not going to like what I'm going to say but you married your husband for a reason. Try to slowly push the ex away. I can tell that you want your marriage to work. Let the other man go. You don't need him. You need your friends, family and lovely husband. I don't know if this other man sees you as a potential love interest. If you suspect he does then consider changing your details (or at least blocking him). Make sure you don't say anything that could get back to your husband and upset or hurt him.If the doctor has found no reason as to why you have not conceived yet then I would advise you to stop worrying and keep trying, but when you and your husband make love try not to think about babies. Don't keep asking yourself "is this the time I'll finally get pregnant?" Seriously, just enjoy the sex and the close bond you have with each other. It will be harder to find the time once you have a baby. If nothing has happened after 2-3 years of trying then perhaps consider IVF but for the time being keep trying and good luck!
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