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How can I get my father's daughter and my boyfriend to grow up and stop trying to annoy one another?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 February 2016)
A female Canada age 30-35, *errington writes:

My ex and I have share custody of my 5 year old daughter. We get along great and we do many things together as a "family". I have been dating my current boyfriend for a year and he is perfect. I've never had a guy treat me the way he does, he's romantic and seer and my daughter adores him. The only issue is he hates my ex and my ex knows it so he does things just to get under his skin.

For example my ex will hug me or say something inappropriate when my boyfriend is around. If it's just my ex and daughter and I he isn't that way at all.

I need to have my ex in my life , he is my daughters father and she deserves to have us getting along but at the same time I really see myself spending the rest of my life with my boyfriend . How can I get my ex to grow up and be respectful when my boyfriend is around and how can I get my boyfriend to realize that my ex is only doing the things he does because he kneels it bothers my bf

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (15 February 2016):

Aunty BimBim agony auntWhy does your current boyfriend hate your ex? Has he valid reasons, were you beaten, bashed, abandoned while you were pregnant?

Or does he hate your ex because he was there first, his lip on you lips, his hands on your body, there in your bed and also first in your vagina?

You could try appealing to your ex's better nature, but he may come back with why should he change, he hasn't done anything wrong, and he may even say up front that if your current boyfriend wasn't such a prat he wouldn't be doing it.

Remind your current boyfriend that if he didn't react your ex wouldn't do it. Tell him if there was a choice between an ex who stirs him up, but is an involved and loving father to his 5 year old daughter and no father or a disengaged father, you will always choose what your daughter has now.

Your current boyfriend needs to work out why he hates your ex, and simply saying he is a blah blah is not good enough, he needs to lay down some serious allegations with PROOF! Other wise he can just grow the hell up and get over himself.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (15 February 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntIf your boyfriend had a child with another woman and they where doing this to you how would you feel? Insecure? Upset? Disrespected? I think that is how I would feel.

I think it is great that you get on with your ex for your daughters sake. But there needs to be boundaries. You need to be straight with him and tell him if he keeps winding up your boyfriend that you and him can no longer be friends. It is so disrespectful to your boyfriend and am sure it is really hurting him. He must really love you when he is putting up with this. It must be difficult to sit back and watch. I agree that your daughter should have a good relationship with her dad, but that doesn't mean you all need to do things together as a family. I think you are crossing a line, and you may end up losing your boyfriend if you don't talk to your ex about this.

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