A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:heres a good one for you guys. to make a long story short, my ex said she loved me when we broke up, now she hates my guts and calls me an ass and all this stuff and shes ignoring me. i tried to friend her new guy on facebook, not knowing he was the new guy, and she gets pissed about it, and talks to may friend and he says to me:Shes trying to avoid you and talking to you all together. She thinks your an asshole. And she said that she is gonna kill the next person to tell her to talk to you. She wants you completely out of her life.the thing is, i didnt really do anything to make her think this way. all i did was the usual mistakes someone does if they are experiencing heartbreak. you know, the calling and pleading to get your ex back after the break up type stuff. the kicker is i still want to be friends with her but i dont know how. what can i do to get through to her that shes not only accusing me of things i didnt do or had no control over, and diffuse this bomb that shouldnt be activated in the first place? in other words, how can i get her to talk to me and not be mad at me(as much at least)? because im sure you agree, no one likes to have enemys, especially an angry ex who pretty much knows all of your friends.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): Just leave this woman alone...she doesn't want you to contact her, thus she doesn't want a friendship or a relationship of any kind. Just leave it go. Get therapy, work on healing your broken heart and and DO NOT DATE or get into a relationship with anyone until you are over this woman.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Hate is the flip side of love so if she's saying she hates you and putting that much effort and venom into making you the bad guy then she still has unresolved feelings about you. If she was truly over you she wouldn't care who you spoke to or what you did.
I understand what you mean when you say no one wants enemy's but I think your best bet here is to back away from her completely. Don't try to be friends with her because she aint playing fair. Your true friends are still going to remain friends with you throughout this regardles of what she says. Trying to remain friends with her is going to add fuel to the fire of nastiness that is pouring out of her. Plus you will never get to the bottom of what happened because my bet is she doesn't really know. Just chalk this one up to one of life's experiences. You did your best it didn't work out dust yourself of and move on.
Good luck my friend. Everything will be ok.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Now look here: this girl behaved very callously toward you and was really quite rude and inconsiderate, so - the heck with her!!
I know it is upsetting to be accused of things you didn't do, but she clearly doesn't give a damn. Why should YOU go through all this torture trying to figure out what you can do to get her to talk to you?
Let it go; she's just NOT WORTH IT! Besides, she IS your ex, and the point of that is that once two people have split, they go their separate ways with very very little, if any, contact so as to move on with their lives.
I hope you can do the same.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (6 August 2010):
 First of why do u want to be friends with this mean girl? U said urself she calls u an ass and god knows what else, she doesnt deserve ur friendship buddy. It sounds like she wants u out of her completely. Sometimes, when u date girls and u break up with them, they dont always want to be friends. Maybe she'll come around in a few months, but as of now leave her alone. Youre going to go through life and have friends and a few enemies, thats just how it is. U dont mean to make these enemies but ppl arent always going to like u for whatever reason. But hey thats theyre problem not urs. Bottom line, listen to what ur friend say she wants u out of her life, there's no friendship there. U cant make her be friends with u, so get over it and get some new friends or a new gf!
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