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How can I fix this where I can just make love with my husband and not have to do the toy thing every time

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 April 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 May 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, *ward143250 writes:

Don't know if I'm not what he wants any more or what???

OK I've been with my husband for going on 10 years we have a great sex life I would like to think. I'm very open minded an very understanding but I just got a question is he into something I just can't give him an how do I fix this ???? He likes... Well loves anal sex not on me bit on himself.. It use to be every so ofton but now it's like every time we have sex I have to play with his butt ... An he looms at porn an back pages all the time at she males .. He says he isn't turn on by men but just like anal how can I fix this where I can just make love with my husband and not have to do the toy thing every time ????is he bi?? Or is he just more into she males and not females ??????

View related questions: anal sex, porn, sex life, shemale

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2015):

I'm not into them, but my impression is that a lot of guys who call themselves straight like shemales.

I think you have a kinky husband-- I wouldn't jump to conclusions that you have a bi-husband.

Maybe you could suggest that he put a butt plug in himself before you have sex if he likes it so much, and that you'll play with his butt once in a while?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI think if it went from once in a while to EVERY time, he might be craving this in order to HAVE sex. Some people get so fixated on ONE thing sexually that the rest ( like the partner's pleasure) falls to the way side.

I would tell him that you would LIKE to switch it up a bit, because you would like to be more included in the sex. IT IS NOT just about HIS pleasure. I think because you COMPLY and do it every time he is presuming that you LIKE it too totally forgetting that... well, you CAN'T feel a thing that is done to him. And I presume that WHILE you enjoy making HIM feel pleasure, you feel a little left out.

As for the she-male... He could be bi or straight. Some straight people like gay porn. Some like the she-male thing - my guess because they ACT like men but look like women - it's a different dynamics from straight porn.

Liking anal play in a guy doesn't mean anything sexuality wise. He has just found something HE really enjoys and is able to share with his partner.

However, he IS making SEX all about him. Making you feel like a prop.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (30 April 2015):

janniepeg agony auntIt's clear that you got annoyed by having to stuff a toy in his butt every single time. Maybe it's the ick factor that turned you off. If you don't say anything he's going to assume that you are happy to please him and make him happy. As to his sexual orientation, that's a tough question which could only be answered by males. I am guessing both straight and bi males can enjoy shemale porn as well as anal play. Still that doesn't mean you have to oblige his request all the time. You can tell him though, you want the reassurance that you are enough, and all he needs in life.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (29 April 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntRegardless of his sexual preferences.... he is CLEARLY "telling" you that he doesn't give a darn about what turns YOU on..... he needs/wants/craves HIS fetish.....

Decide if you want to continue in this fashion... OR, would you prefer a husband who actually GIVES A HOOT about what turns YOU on???? The answer to that will provide you with your map to the future....

Good luck...

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