A
female
age
30-35,
*arahlovesjarek
writes:ok i really love one of my best friends and i told him i like him but i didn't tell him i love him. I am at the stage where i can't stand to be away from him for more than a few days. I really want to date him but i am not good enough for him. i get really jealous of my friends and their boy friends and girl friends. A friend of ours also knows how much i like this boy and teases me. When i tell him we are just friends he responds by saying "but you want it to be more than that" I told him that i do but he would never love someone like me even though we are best friends. I know he cares about me because i kind of cut myself but thats only because i get depressed from not seeing him. When he sees the marks he holds my stuff ransom untill i give him the safety pins. and he gets really mad at me if i cut myself. What I am asking is if he really likes me the same way, what should i do, and how can I find out if he loves me too.
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male
reader, Tunsat +, writes (26 November 2008):
Please stop cutting yourself. Its addictive and won't solve any issue of depression. The whole self mutilation concept to feel alive or dull the senses it can lead to a road of drugs and other types of methods for coping with sadness.
That aside even though that is a serious issue you should seek help for if you can't stop on your own.
You can tell if someone loves you by the effort they put into you and into being with you. Also by the way they look at you. The part that makes this more complicated is that most teenagers and even adults associate love with this feeling of closeness when one is excited and attracted toward another individual. For example during sex someone may feel that they love an individual because they feel so close, but that specific feeling isn't the everlasting love people talk about.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): first step: STOP CUTTING
if you keep on doing it you will get addicted and give yourself scars that will last forever and he will NEVER love you..
you dont want to commit suicide or anything stupid or be a mother years and years later in a changing room at a pool and her little daughter asks her, 'mum why do you have scars there?'
first you need to deal with HOW you are handling it
STOP CUTTING
remove anything you could use to harm yourself with
eat lots
go for a run
take up a hobby that you enjoy
sport is good
find things to do which make yourself happy
work on your good points... look in the mirror and tell yourself that youre perfect and beautiful and amazing and any guy that doesn want you is just retarded... say it ten times every night- and stuff like that
get a councilor...
talk to someone on a helpline...
talk to anyone you could actually talk to...
it was good that you posted your problem on here!
read through all your comments and take the advice and USE IT!!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (26 November 2008):
 For one thing you need to stop cutting and ask yourself why you really do this. If you can come to a deep and insightful reason, you must then find a caring adult to speak to.
You will only chase away a boy who sees that you indulge in destructive behavior. If deep down you are trying to make him feel sorry for you will only have more pain and he will eventually reject you.
Boys at this age are just too young to love a girl the way you desire. You are all children - I assume you don't have very happy home life and are seeking love and affection to an extreme due to problems at home.
To make sure he loves you, stop acting foolish. Be someone he can come to for comfort rather than his having to be comfort to you. Boys don't like such a heavy burden from a girl. Attention seeking devises like cutting will bring more unhappiness in the end.
I hope you can find someone to talk about this to. And find happiness! Seek happiness and you will find it because you are no doubt a beautiful girl who is suffering sadness.
Boys also don't like the pressure girls put on them to have a relationship. Try to relax and be a good friend to him and let nature take its course!
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