A
female
age
36-40,
*mmylou13
writes:My husband was sleeping with this other girl before we were married, he was actually dating her behind my back. He didn't break up with her until after we were married and he kept sleeping with her. We have been married less than 2 years and he cheated on me at least 20 times even while I was carrying his son. He would lie right to my face and tell me he didn't. How can I ever trust him again? How can I be strong enough to leave or deal with it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): Because you have a child, your child MUST come first, and you need to think about what's best for your son. You don't want your son growing up and witnessing that it is ok to cheat and treat your wife like crap, and she'll still stay with him.
Be strong for not only you, but your son. It sounds like you fell in love with a rotten egg, but I can understand that the heart wants what it wants. But--you have a son to raise, and sometimes you have to put your heart aside.
good luck
A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (24 January 2008):
 If he cheated on you before and after your marriage and during your pregnancy of his son, then how can you trust him to stop cheating and be faithful to you? I sure wouldn't trust him. It sounds like you're really hurting. No matter what you do, when you look at him, you will always feel betrayed and hurt even if you stay with him and its another two years from now. Confront him with your knowledge of his cheating ways and then see what he says. If he lies, then he's not going to be able to be honest with you at all. I would lose him and find a real man who doesn't cheat on his pregnant wife. Sorry, but he's an utter ass. My dad did the same thing and my mom left his ass.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 The question here is do you still love him or not?Can you answer that question?If you don't love him , then listen to those who thinks walking way will solve your problems.Talk is cheap.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): I know all too well what it feels like to be cheated on especially in pregnancy and I deem it to be one of the ultimate betrayals. Not only to you but to the unborn child. For one, your husband (and father on the child) has emotionally withdrawn from you at a time when you are venerable and weak and need him most. He is also jeopardising the health of yourself and the unborn, especially if he has not been using protection. There could be several health risks involved.The fact however that he has cheated on you over 20 times in the space of 2 years shows his lack of integrity and he lack of value for you. He won’t change; if he were to change he would have done so after the first time he cheated. He doesn’t seem to have any regret and it seems as though he knows that you will not leave and will accept his behaviour whatever he chooses.You need to get stronger. Look in the mirror everyday and tell you’re self that you are a strong women, a strong mother and that you deserve better. Don’t live in the past, hold on to your good memories but realise what is happening now and step out of the bubble and rebuild your life. It is daunting and scary but you can do this. You can only rely on yourself in this world and you need to make a stand and protect your heart.You love him, yes that shows, and maybe in the future you can work it out. But for now this is not healthy. When you show your self (and him) that you will not put up with this shit! He will also see a different side to you and will eventually realise what he has done and maybe realise the pain he had cause. You can do this. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, hello1  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 Don't listen to Laura1318, she sounds like a weak woman.
Now his cheated on you twenty times! even when you were pregnant?? You only been together 2 years and he's doing all this. This guy dosen't love or respect you, if he did he wouldn't be sleeping with every possible women. LEAVE, unless you like being treated like crap then stay but please get some self respect and find a decent guy.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (24 January 2008):
If you love him, you see no evil , hear no evil and speak no evil.
If you don't love him, the door is always open but think carefully before you want to leave.
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A
female
reader, nunununu +, writes (24 January 2008):
hi,hunny
If I were you,I would talk to him first,tell him how you feel,if he is not going to change,try to look for a nicer man to be with you.It sounds you are a very nice lady.you deserve to be treated well.or i will go out with the guy you like to have date or dinner to show that you have the charm ,he is not the only one you can't live without.I guess he will get jealous if he loves you.maybe he will stop sleeping with the lady.just ignore,pretend you don't care at all for him doing so.you have friends to go out with you and have fun with,too.
good luck
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A
female
reader, Sams_WonderWoman +, writes (24 January 2008):
 Kick this horse's butt to the curb immediately!!! You and your son can find much better life, but not with this user loser. He surely isn't intelligent enough to know how to treat a lady like yourself. Believe me, there are guys out there that will treat you with love and respect and be a wonderful father to your son. Don't stay and deal with his cheating, because he will continue with the cheating with this other girl. And if and when she is gone out of the picture, he will find someone else until the next one comes along. He will always cheat on you, because once a cheater always a cheater. He could even give you an std, like herpes, aids etc, You certainly do not need this.
I hope the very best for you and your baby. You certainly deserve it. Please keep us informed on the outcome of your ordeal.
God Bless you and your son
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (24 January 2008):
 Get out ASAP, you are being used like a dorrmat. And the longer you sit by and put up with this the worse things will get, i had to deal with a situation like this for far to long with my ex. She was in love with him and did not want to let go, and he knew this and took advantage of her all the time and cheated on her at least 4 times that she knew of and everyone at our school knows her does everything with limbs even when he was with her.
But she would not listen to her friends, and didnt get out until he got her pregnant and she had already alienated all of her friends for someone who didnt care about her at the least.
Just get out he will not change, people rarely change and unless he has a positive track record on the matter then he isnt going to. If i had to guess only 5 to 10% of males will actually change. And considering thats not very many.
Also dont worry about u not being able to find someone else, there are guys who will date you even tho you are pregnant and have been pregnant. I tried to have a relationship with the girl i spoke of while she was pregnant but she isnt very mature yet and doesnt realize what she is doing. There are nice guys out there, and do not be paranoid about your next partner cheating when there is no reason to be. It can be so damaging to a relationship.
And it will be hard to leave him but it will be worth it trust me.
I hope everything works out for you!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): Clearly you can't trust him again. Making a break on your own is a big step, but your lack of self esteem and confidence is making it look larger than it is.
Take the first step and it will become easier, you deserve to be treated better than he treats you.
Good LUCK
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A
female
reader, here_2_help +, writes (23 January 2008):
 Its not easy but the answer is simple. For love you need trust and without trust there is no love. You need to think can you trust your husband again? You are strong enough to deal with anything that life throws at you. I suggest talking about your problems with yor husban.
hope this helps xxx
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