A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I have been married twice and have kids from both marriages. I am not saying that i am a perfect angel and did not contribute to where i am today but i have been beaten and cheated on and i am the type of person that gives her all in a relationship.My second marriage was my heaven i loved him regardless of his faults and would literally do anything for him. this man has divorced and i have heard that he has been cheating on me while we were married. i find this hard to believe but some part believes he could.i still love him and feel he is the only one i could ever be with...i need to let go. how do i do this.I never had trust issues till now and find it hard to trust anyone and have begun to hate males in a whole as my dad has cheated on my mum. my uncle on my aunt and my best friends boyfriend on her....I want to be loved and happy with contentment and i am making any man who comes near me life miserable...How can i be me again...i want to be me again? i don't like the bitter person i have become.please help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 February 2009):
 Monkey see, monkey do.
What were the type of relationships you saw as a child and what were the type of relationships you had as an adult?
Are you following in the footsteps of your mother and other female relatives? Your mother married a cheater, so you married a cheater.
You need to break away from this pattern. Learn to be happy with yourself first. To love your own person. So that you no longer need to depend on someone else and give everything just to keep someone in a vain hope to be happy.
Happyness comes from within after all.
The last thing you want to be is to be you again. The you of the past got married twice to the wrong kind of person. You need to create a new you. One who can break away from the pattern set by seeing bad relations when you were a kid.
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