A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am engaged to be married in April 2008. I am having second thoughts because I have not known many people who are happily married for long. I am also divorced so I don't want to make a promise I can't keep (for the second time).But does this feeling go away? do one truly just choose a life partner and makes a rational decision to love and to work through all? Are there ups and downs regarding the feelings for each other or is this not normal? How can I have the certainty (to whatever possible limit) that he is the one?Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for your reply's. Although I still get the urge to run... I am staying... only time will tell! for now, we are happy and having a great time!
A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 There is no way to be totally sure. You can love this guy and even imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with him, but sometimes things go wrong, and like you said feelings for each other fluctuates. Where your certainty comes in, is in how you choose to deal with these situations. - Do you stay and work through it, or do you run? I'm going to use myself as an example, as to how i know my bf is the ONE.
I've been in many relationships, and whenever things got tough, I GOT GOING... If i didn't like something they did, i would either threaten breaking up, or break up with them.
But with my current bf, OUT is just not an option. We've gone through some really tough times, and i've even moved into another room, but i don't want to end our relationship - EVER.
If you reach the point where you realise that nobody is perfect, but that you love this man, and WANT to be in a relationship with him, and work through the tough times, then you know you have found 'the one'. It is up to both of you to Make it work, if you want to. If you don't want to make it work - then you should rather back down right now.
Good luck - let us know how it goes...
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 You can't imagine your life without him. You can't think of anyone you'd rather be with in life. Once you answer those two questions, you can be pretty certain your heart is in the right place regardless of your past, his past, or what others have gone through. Good luck.
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