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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i used to have sex with my two boyfriends in the past but i stopped with all this stuff from last four months as i got engaged to a guy who loves me a lot and treats me like a princess.We are going to get married soon but he doesn't know my past relationships and i can"t afford too lose him.So i didn't tell him that i am not virgin . He thinks that i am a virgin and he is really excited about sex with me, but every time we start up i always stop him in between as i am scared of his anger and breaking of trust on me ? please help me give me some some suggestions to make my vagina to the position as he would feel like i am virgin ? is it possible that my vagina can bleed as it did for the first time when i had sex?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2012): I am going to pass on telling you how foolish it is to lie to someone about being a virgin, and I'll simply focus on the question at hand, which is: can you appear to be a virgin? The answer is NO. If you were a virgin and your hymen were still in tact, it would LOOK different first of all. The hymen stretches as objects are inserted into the vagina. It's not something that you can make smaller again, or make it look smaller. Not only can you feel the hymen, but you can SEE it. And it most definitely looks different when you had objects inserted as opposed to an intact one.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2012): If he loves you he will accept you anyway. But right now he cannot love you. He can only love the lie that you presented him, the one who is a virgin. He does not know the real you. So don't blame him if he does not love the real you.
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A
male
reader, j127  +, writes (28 August 2012):
There are times in life when one would do well to resort to deferred sincerity. If you think that this guy is the man for you, just don't spoil the opportunity by giving information that will make both of you unhappy. What is important is that you will be loyal to your new partner as long as you are living as a couple. By the way, I speak from experience having been happily married for almost 40 years.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (28 August 2012):
 I think building a marriage on a lie is a bad thing ALWAYS, even if it's about faking being a virgin.
What you going to do when the truth comes out? You know... the truth has a way of doing that.
And you can't magically wave a want and make your vagina all "virginal" again.
You had SEX with 2 different guys which means you are FAR from being a virgin.
If you lie about this, what else are you willing to lie about to get what you want?
I think it shows really piss-poor judgement and morals on your end.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2012): "How can I act, behave, appear, present and seem as if I am a virgin for the man I love who I am about to marry?"
By never previously having sex with another man, which in your case is obviously impossible.
If you're alreday scheming to start your intended marriage on the basis of a lie, it's doomed anyway. What other events from your past will you feel compelled to lie about in the future?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2012): Cerberus. Don't waste your time. Sometimes you have to let them learn on their own.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2012): OP I'm not going to give out to you about not having told him because you should have but perhaps you come from a culture where women must be virgins to get married, but you've already tried sex with him so that seems doubtful.
OP you already are acting like a virgin seeing as you're acting so nervous about it.
I'm curious about the 4 months thing too OP. Are you saying you're only with this guy 4 months and already engaged or you were still sleeping with your ex when you were with your new guy?
OP I have to say you went about this all wrong, he already has reason not to trust you because you lied and before I advise you further I just want you to know that I think that's wrong and not a good basis for a marriage so you may want to consider telling him so you don't lure this guy into marriage on the basis of a lie. There is every chance he will find out about you having been with these two other guys. That's two guys plus all the people they have told that know and a large chance of this getting back to him.
OP if this guy truly is the man that you're going to spend the rest of your life with then you will be able to regain his trust if you tell him.
To answer your specific question there is no way he'll know if you're a virgin or not. Not all virgins bleed as plenty of women lose their hymen from things like cycling or were just never born with one so you can just say that.
It actually makes me feel uncomfortable advising you about this OP because I feel what you're doing to him is wrong but there is no way he'll know.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 August 2012):
 you should not lie to him... it will only end up very very badly....
if he asked you should have told him the truth
do not lie....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2012): Unfortunately you should have told him the truth from the start. If he wants a virgin, and you say he wouldn't be interested in you because you're not, then he's with the wrong person. Not to mention you were dishonest with him to begin with.
I don't know if there's anything you can do to make your vagina bleed during sex, but you can make it feel tighter around his penis by clenching the vagina wall muscles (or something like that as an ex used to do that with me because she had a somewhat relaxed vagina)
I'm just curious in relation to what you said about your past two boyfriends:
Did you mean you had sexual relations with both your past boyfriends, or did you mean up until 4 months ago you were still sexually active with both your past ex's and then moved straight into an engagement with your current fiancee?
I'm confused.
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