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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been in a relationship 2 years, We are engaged and living together. I have cheated on him in the past which I'm sorry for and I would'nt do it again, but he now wont trust me at all, How can I make him see I want him and i'm sorry ?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2006): Im am in a similar situation, but In mine I have lost the love of my life....and will never get her back. If I have one piece of advice for you it would be to never cheat on your spouse again. Because once he leaves you, you will never get him back. Dont ever let it get that far, stop asap before you lose everything...... -JOBE
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (2 October 2006):
 When someone cheats on you they take away everything you loved and believed was true, by you cheating on him has probably made him feel that he isn't good enough, that your bored of him, that he doesn't satify you, and your relationship gets to the point where he worries when your out, scared you'll do it again etc.
You can't make someone trust you only keep on proving it to them, reassuring him that you won't is great as we all need to hear reassurance but until he feels you've shown him and proved it to him he will feel lack of trust in you.
He has continued a relationship with you which is a good sign, the next thing is whether your relationship can make it past the fact you cheated.
Good luck :o)
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (2 October 2006):
 Well cheating is a hard pill to swallow for anyone. I cheated on my ex and I see her but its something that I don't think she will ever forget. It takes time. Time heals wounds but it will take patience on your part. Don't just go about it saying I love you, I love you because he will only look at you with the "If you loved me you wouldn't have cheated". After awhile it gets frustrating because you know you won't do it again but that person doesn't. Patience really is a virtue. I still believe love conquers all. The trust is a very big part of a relationship but the love gives you reason to learn to trust again. Good Luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2006): I have been cheated on. I don't trust him, probably never will, but I have forgiven him. He had a somewhat excuse in that he is suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder, but it wasn't a one-night stand. It was a longer term affair.
It is said that women are more forgiving than men, but the fact that you are still with your fiancee suggests that he truly loves you and wants to forgive you. Many men would not have had you back.
You must not give him any reason to not trust you - always be available to him to ease his mind, ie if you're out have your mobile with you so he can call or call him. Constantly tell him yo love him. Don't be secretive about anything, don't be evasive. Just be honest and look him in the eye. Do everything you can to show him your love. Try not to bring up the past mistake in any form, try to forget it ever happened, and in time he might too.
Men can be very much like children, they need constant reassurance, constant approval and encouragement. be there for him, but make sure he is there for you too!
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A
male
reader, fallenman  +, writes (2 October 2006):
 Basically you cannot force someone to trust you and you cannot force someone to love you either. If trust has been broken words alone will not solve the problem because they lack integrity in the case of broken trust. You have two choices; be patient as he will have to be so that you can work and prove you are trustworthy over time, or give up now and walk out.
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (2 October 2006):
 If you cheat on someone it's surely not surprising that they don't trust you. Why should they believe you won't do it again? He probably didn't think you'd do it in the first place and he was wrong. There is nothing you can do except show him how much you love him, tell him you're sorry. Trust when misplaced is very hard to rebuild, but it can be done. Not everyone can forgive and forget so it won't be easy. You must give him time. Tell him that being engaged to him means the world to you. If you cheated before you got engaged, tell him that you didn't take the decision lightly and that's a sign of your committment to him. If you cheated after, maybe tell him that the engagement got you all scared and you acted irrationally. (I don't like advising that if it's not true, but I'm thinking of him, it's tough being cheated on and it's a pain that's hard to heal, anything to ease that pain could help).
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