A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Okay So I just broke up with my ex, and I started dating this other girl who I really like, but we broke up because she was not ready to have a relationship because of school and stress from home.... now here is the thing, my ex is coming over and we had sex before we broke up and I am home alone, and Im kinda scared of a relapse happening and things like that....what do I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): As the writer of this question I thank all of you for your opinions on this and all your advice on this and I will try to follow it to the best of my abilities although I don't know what to do right now so Maybe its for the best and Maybe its not.
I won't know until it happens
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (2 March 2008):
 This has been a common situation in my life, with girlfriends, live-ins and ex-wives. We would essentially end the relationship as anything serious anymore, for whatever usually trivial reason, but continue with sex for awhile. Usually, it did not bother me much because no replacement prospects existed right away, and it beat the alternatives.
There comes a point in time, however, when I would put an end to it dragging on-and-on. You simply have to decide for yourself whether to extend that part of a relationship or not, but it can help trough a transition.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (2 March 2008):
 It's sounds like you haven't quite made up your mind about stopping with the ex since you mentioned you are now single. If this is the case, you will continue to have sex with her until something forces you to stop (like ruining your next relationship when it is found out). Is this what you are worried about?
The key to preventing "relapse" is realizing that you are not strong enough to stop acting out when you are faced with the temptation. You have to remove the temptation.
You can only have sex with her if you guys are alone, like letting her in the house when you are home alone. So you don't let her in the house.
Even if she doesn't just come a 'knockin, speaking with her on the phone and letting her know you are at home alone is another way you give yourself permission to have sex with her. She will then come over and your body has had the time to gear up for the anticipation. You may say to yourself "it's rude to not open the door when she knows I'm home, etc" but that's just an excuse to give yourself permission to be weak. You set yourself up that way and that is why you feel scared and like you are vulnerable to "relapse".
Be really honest with yourself and realize that by putting yourself in these positions, you are still making a choice. The key to solving your problem is simple, it's actually doing what you need to do that is so hard.
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