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How do I get the guts to talk to this guy I like at work?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 May 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 May 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i really like this lad who works in the same place as me the problem is i have never even had a conversation with him and i feel like a tit even if he just looks in my direction and i havent got the gurts to start to talking to him 1st any advice on what to do?

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (20 May 2007):

kenny agony auntAs you pair of you work in an office it should be easy for you to strike up a conversation with him, easier than a bar or in a supermarket or something.

Make a friend out of him, ask him if he had a nice weekend and what did he do, then gradually build on that. Throw in some light flirtatious gestures, like try to hold eye contact with him for a few seconds then smile and look away. Find an excuse to lightly touch him, touch his fingers when taking something. When after some time you feel things are going good, and the flirting is being reciprocated ask him if he fancies doing something after work on evening.

But beware of office relationships, when things are sweet then all's well and good, but when/if things go sour it can be quite arkward when you still have to see them every day. If things get serious one of you may have to consider leaving.

Good luck x

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (20 May 2007):

DV1 agony auntWhat you're experiencing is called puppy love. You're attracted to are his looks. Go up to him at work, and ask him about himself. If he comes around and you two hit it off, go out for coffee, or something of that nature. Guys are generally very easy to talk to. Just know that if you two start dating, you shouldn't make it obvious at work, because one or both of you could potentially be fired.

DV1

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A female reader, mcbirdie United Kingdom +, writes (20 May 2007):

mcbirdie agony auntThe best way to get over fear of rejection, I have found, is to sit down by yourself and imagine the worst possible situation. I mean the absolute ludicrously, never-gonna-happen, WORST. Imagine him not just not responded positively to your attempt at conversation, but also laughing about you liking him. Imagine how horrible you would feel. And then imagine what comes next. You would collect yourself, turn around, and walk away. You would NOT have died of shame or sadness, you would NOT have found yourself unable to crush on any boy in the future...you would just shrug it off and move on.

Once you imagine the worst, nothing else can happen that will be harder. So after you imagine the worst, realize that he is NOT going to laugh at you--either he will give you his number and you will call him, or he will say 'no' and you won't. Either way, you'll know and be ready to make some fun choices.

But I say go for it. You never know what you might be missing, if you don't try. We all feel like tits at some point. :)

Best of luck.

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