A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for three years and things are pretty good. He is a wonderful partner however there is something that bothers me. I am the opposite end to what his 'type' is. He has usually dated women who were caucasian, very very petty, high maintenance and who wear trendy, fashionable clothes and lots of make-up. Also, I guess you could say women who had more in the looks department than brains. Now he has settled down with me. Now I'm not bad looking, but I'm very much plain jane. I have dull brown hair, I am into staying at home and reading and I am boring. I dont wear make-up and I have always been told that I'm smart, interesting, funny (but never hot, gorgeous, sexy). So as you can see, I am more personality than looks. We were friends for two years before me and him got together, and he never showed an interest in me (and I didnt in him, either). Then we started to spend lots of time together found we had lots in common and then sparked off. Now, I'm beginning to feel insecure as during our friendship he would tell me about girls that he fancied or dated and they were always a certain type = always drop dead gorgeous and now he is with me.. and I'm like...why?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 You have been in a relationship with him for three years. There must be something fairly solid between you for it to last that long! He may talk about pretty girls from his past, but you have to remember that his relationships with these ladies failed for some reason...I would hazard a guess that his past failures are based on him making dating choices based on looks not character. He may well have learned his lesson and that is why he is with you - his best friend. You have to remember that long term romantic relationships are based on friendship - once the passion has gone, you have just got to be mates who can at least tolerate each other. If he irritates you when he describes other women, tell him. Or, better still, start talking about hot men and see how he likes it!
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