A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I knew my boyfriend went to strip clubs but until a few days ago I had no idea how much. I was ok with it when I thought it was like 1 or 2 times a month but its more like 3 times a,week!! I was devastated. It makes me feel like im not enough for him or that he is not attracted to me. He promised he would only go like 1 time a month from now on because I was so hurt. But I keep thinking he only said that to make me happy. We live an hour away ferom each other and I have no way to really know if he stopped going so much. How can I move past this so I dont ruin our relationship? I love him so much and dont want to lose him but dont know if he stopped going so much...Any advice would be greatly appeciated
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cnith +, writes (14 April 2010):
 hmmm... is he going home with the strippers or getting lap dances? If so, then you need to move on.
I can understand needing the visual thing. He likes strippers better than porn or magazines, fine.
It has nothing to do with you. Guys are visual creatures and they're wired to have sex with all females. That being said, it doesn't meant he can't be a modern male vs. neanderthal. He can control himself.
If it's just a visual thing, don't worry about it. And yeah, go with him. Find out what these girls do. Maybe do a bit on your own at home with him. *shrugs*
What you'll also find is guys like the look maybe touch or whatever but those kinds of girls would never be taken home to mom.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks sunnycomet.... I will try that... I have thought about going with him but that also makes me nervous that it could make it worse for me... I dont mind him going just not as much as he was... I just dont know how to really move past it and trust that he means what he said about only going once or twice a month...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 April 2010):
This is quite bad. A stripper once in a while is something that might happen. But three times a week really is something else. I think he either has to stop, or you need to move on.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Ask him to stop
Go to the stripper club with him
forget about it
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If this doesn't help then consider dumping him. No man that loves you would do this if he knew that it hurts you, and he knows!
Good Luck!
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