A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i have been together for two years now we recently just moved in and everything seems to be good.theres just something that im tryn to understand better.hes ex wife doesnt allow hem to see there daugther unless i am not around or goin to be home for the weekend he told her that we are living together she said she doesnt care about me living with hem that the only thing she cares about is thier kid witch i understand what i dont understand is why is she making things so hard for all three of us hem hes daugther and i because we all have to lie and hide from her just so my boyfriend will be able to see hes kid and i support hem in everything when it comes dwon to hes kids i just see it very unfair for us that we have to lie and hide just so she can have her way it makes me mad with hem because he doesnt step up to her but i do understand why..i do get realy hurt and mad at it at times but i keep my cool,i dont know what to think or what this situation realy is.im tired of always having to hide from her just so she will let hem see hes daugther..and she also is planing to move and she told hem that if he wants to see hes daugther that he is goin to have to go see her over where they move to it could me california and we live in arizona and of course if that happend i wont be allow to go wtf do i do or think please help...
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female
reader, Jesc +, writes (30 June 2010):
 I think that Oreg has it wrong in some cases.I'm a young mother with a two year old daughter myself.I am very defensive when it comes to her father's girlfriends.It's not that we want to control their choices, just their choices on women. Yes it seems bad to say. But as Pelxi stated she wants to protect her child it's true. When my ex started dating I wanted to meet the girl, I showed all respects. Gave my judgement still certain vibes made me push away some where I knew they where not safe for my daughter. I would suggest that your boyfriend needs to talk his ex and ask her what her real problem is, See if you can talk to her face to face. Let her know you mean no harm to this child. But Pelxi also said, Children get attached easily they do, Some cases it could end bad.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (30 June 2010):
 Your boyfriend is the one missing out on spending time with his child, not you, and from your post it sounds like you are more concerned about his time with his kid than he is. If he's not doing anything to change the visitation arrangement, he must not have a problem with the conditions his ex-wife has laid out. That means you have to be okay with it, too. You are not the parent--or even stepparent--of this child so you really have no say in the visitation matter.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (30 June 2010):
She is a control freak and trying to see also where she is at w/ him but her real problem is you. she wants to show you she still has him and yes in her sick way by using the child. now you know why shes an Ex? and he has a problem too by allowing it and letting her do that to you. i would tell him until you both figure it out im not going to allow you to treat me like this! can't he visit his child with out her telling him how to visit with his child i mean is it supervised visits only if not i would take her ass to court and also i know hes paying child support! if so he doesn't need that bull dog telling him what to do.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 Well, look at it from her point of view..........she doesn't know you, who knows what he's told her about you, she might think you are just with him for the time being and your relationship with her ex will not be long term so she is protecting her child from getting hurt.Children form attachments very fast and are very hurt, sometimes even scarred if those people disappear from their lives(like what would happen if you 2 were to break up)Let Give him his own time with his child and when the relationship has a better foundation, the child is a bit older and all 3 of you are confident that you will permanently be part of your bf's life then bring it up again.Mothers will do anything to protect their children even if it may seem extreme, she is most likely not trying to be difficult but protective. I hope this helps a bit hun:)
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