A
female
age
51-59,
*hiscantgogo
writes:I have been dating someone for 16 months. Relationship is wonderful except that his "ex" still has her control over him. He does not agree with this and it is a constant argument for us. He's out of the marriage because she cheated, lied and filed for the divorce. She moved out - left the house, the kid and the dog. I started dating him 4 months after his split. She wants nothing to do with me - which I could care less. I think she is very immature. Yet - calls him constantly at work or other times that she knows I am not around. She describes her latest dates and all the"wonderful" things she's doing with her life. I feel this is unnecessary and thoughtless - he says it does not bother him. My complaint is that she has this "lifeline" to him and I feel she goes behind my back to retain her control over him. I explain to him - she's not your best friend, she's your ex-wife who cheated, lied, laughed at you and she has no regard of your relationship with me. He tells me that I have to figure out a way to get past this. At times she gets the "adult" daughter involved and it gets ugly. I am not trying to be a mom just a girlfriend. His family can't understand why his ex is still calling him all the time - they have nothing to do with her because of the hurt she caused him. So am I wrong to be upset that every-time this woman wipes her butt she has to call her ex-husband. I try to explain that if the situation were turned he would have a problem - but he insists not. All I can think is what about my feelings and how important are they. The ex has not moved on - is there any hope?
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at work, best friend, divorce, ex-wife, her ex, his ex, immature, moved out Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, louise100  +, writes (6 May 2009):
They will always have to have some contact because of the child....but some people really have trouble letting go. Sounds to me that she does not want him but she does not want anyone else to have him either.
Shes just on an ego trip and wants to mess up his relationship so more fool him. Give him the ultimatum, its OK to talk about child arrangements but thats it.
There are loads of good men out there for you without this problem - until HE stands up to her she wont go away.
take care x
A
female
reader, Tweetybird828 +, writes (5 May 2009):
NO!!!!!! you have all the right to be annoyed. They split up because of the lying past and cheating and that stuff and if she filed for the divorce she should not be doing all of this stuff to you, your Bf and the kids.... its just not right!
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (5 May 2009):
 No, you need to give him an ultimatum. His ex wife or you! He needs to change phone numbers and things like that! I wouldn't stand for this at all, if things don't chamge then find someone better!!! X
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