A
female
age
41-50,
*ntinarellajess
writes:My husband I love very much and I guess what bothers me is that he talks to his ex girlfriend wich they don't have any kids together. But she sticks her nose in our marriage by calling me and saying that she sleeping with him and when I ask my husband he says no so I'm confused. I have a seven month old and she calls me unfit and that's not true. So I guess that's some what why I don't want him to talk to her she is bad news. The second issue I have my husband likes to watch porn and I feel its wrong because he's married and we have a child together and I don't think it's right it makes me feel like I'm crap and no good. I want people to stop budding in our marriage. I really think I'm right to feel the way I do. Jess
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 December 2008):
 Your husband has no business talking with his psycho ex especially since she seems to be getting delusional about their relationship...or is she? Tell him to knock it off and that he should tell her to do the same. In the meantime stop answering her calls. The porn use is really no biggie and casts no reflection on you at all, however if it starts to affect you sex life negatively, sometimes it affects it very positively, but if he appears to to prefer it over the real thing, you will certainly have to address it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): Your husband really should cut all ties with this ex if she is causing problems within your marriage. Since they have no children together, there is no reason for him to maintain a relationship with her. If he won't do it, then you should demand that she stop contacting him. It might be different if the relationship was friendly, but it's not. She's trying to sabotage your marriage, which might indicate she still has feelings for him. Nothing good can come of it. You need to put your foot down here.
As for the porn, that seems to be a big issue in a lot of relationships. I don't think it is inherently evil on face value. Men are sexually stimulated by visuals, which is why I think we gravitate towards it. It doesn't mean you aren't attractive to him. However, in some cases it can come to replace a healthy sex life. Men sometimes choose it over their partners. If that is happening in your case, you need to have a serious discussion about it. You should come before images on a computer or TV screen. I hope at least something I wrote here is helpful. Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (12 December 2008):
 You sound a little depressed and I can see why. You really need to be strong and make some demands in this relationship. One, tell the ex to stop contacting 'your' husband. Two, tell your husband to keep away from her and Three, tell the ex to butt out of your life. You need to ask your husband why he feels the need to be looking at porn 'without you'. Your son needs to see you both happy or he will pick up on the vibes of this situation.
If your husband can't drag himself away from the ex then it may be time for you to be his 'ex'.
good luck. hope this helps.
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