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His best friend is a girl! Is this normal?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 November 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is it normal for a guy to have a best friend who is a girl? My boyfriend's best friend is this girl he has been friends with for 5 years, and any time he tries to tell me about how he can be he always says "just ask (friend's name) she'll tell you how I am". He's been friends with this other guy since kindergarten and never uses him as an example. He told me uses her cause I am a girl and she is a girl, so we can relate.

Is this a good excuse? Am I being paranoid? He said they're like brother and sister, but what if they really like each other?

What if it's like that movie "My best friend's wedding"? I trust him, but I know how females can be. Am I just being paranoid about it??

View related questions: am I being paranoid, best friend, wedding

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008):

I agree with teacake. There are some relationships between males and females that are totally platonic. As long as he is including you in their relationship, I'd say you have nothing to worry about. It is hard not to be jealous of your boyfriends female best friend but you have to remember that HE CHOOSE YOU. if he wanted to be with her, he would have been already. Always go with your gut though and always, always trust your instincts.

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A female reader, kimberlylopez12 United States +, writes (25 November 2008):

honestly i dont think this is good NEVER trust a guys bestfriend whos a girl because i have been sating my boyfriend for about 10 months and me and his bff were really good friends we would talk and hung out and everything and she totally turned on me! and wants me to be his friend i was so mad so never trusta girl

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008):

I am with TeaCake and MoonGoddess here.My best friends have been guys.I was a Tomboy during school and college days.

I haven't even been remotely attracted to them any time.Yes it was platonic as nothing else ever cropped up in our minds.There were no uncomfortable moments.I am sure they will not take offense if they read this.I have not even seen them as "guys".

I was the first one to get married amidst us.I introduced them to my husband.They all have become good friends much to my dismay as they swap childhood stories about me that makes me cringe.Ha Ha.All of us who live in the same city get together once in a while and go for a lunch or dinner together.We make it a point to include our spouses too.

Please note that my husband trusts me in spite of India being a really conservative country.With out trust there is no love.With out love the relationship has little chances of surviving.

You are being paranoid.Please do not generalize females.There are some bad men and some bad women out there.Not that every one is bad.If he says he thinks of her as a sister,he probably does.you would know him better than any of us.On reading your post I am not able to find anything wrong with him.

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A female reader, Teacake United States +, writes (24 November 2008):

Teacake agony auntI've had many male friends as just friends. Not all friends like each other in a sexual way. If he says brother/sister, no doubt this is true. Don't worry.

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