A
female
 ,
Yuna~
writes:I'm 23 and my bf is 25. We have been going out for a year and is very serious about our relationship. My bf had a kid when he was 19. He married the mother of the child but was divorced because she cheated on him. I understand he had to force himself to mature quickly after his kid was born and limited the time he spend with his hobbies (gaming with friends). I also know his ex used the kid as an excuss to keep him at home all the time. When you're a 19 yrs old guy, you're not ready to play the role of a 30 yrs old father. He is/was a really responsible guy, and took care of his family and the kid the best he could. His kid now lives with his ex and he visits the kid once a week (a whole weekend sometimes).I had a conversation with my bf this weekend, and he brought up the topic of vasectomy. He told me he has looked into that before, but the doctor said you can't get it until you're 25. Now he's 25, he said maybe that's what he will do. He said he doesn't want kids in the future. He enjoys time spent just with me. He asked if I wanted kids. For sure, I don't want them in the next 5 years. But who knows hey? I just want to ask anyone's comment about the up side and the down side of living a life without kids as a couple. I just don't want to regret not being able to have kids in the future.
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female
reader, helpful girl  +, writes (2 October 2006):
 my boyfreind had a versetermy when he was 30 his now 40 im 19. i was not with him obvously when he had it done but if i would of been i would of asked him not to have it done as you can prevent your self from haveing children by useing comdoms as well as getting your girlfreind to go on the pill! but with a versetermy if you do ever change your mind ye you can get it reversed but will it be sucessfull because its a 20% that it will be sucessful i think! maybe explaining that to him. but the up side is you have a baby for life as well as the baby will be part of you both, watching it take its first steps,teaching it new stuff,the laughter of haveing a baby,
the down side is, never being able to go out,no social life you are bound to lose most of your freinds,youll life will only be focused on your baby,getting up in between the night to feed the bay,then makeing sure it has whats it needs,which will leave you skint!
i use to nag my boyfreind to get it reversed ages ago but now after 16months im kind of glad he didnt other wise i wouldnt have much of a life now!
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (2 October 2006):
 You and your b/f are both very young (I know, I know you probably hate hearing that but trust me -- I'm 46 and I still remember how I thought at 25 and I still had so much to learn in life!)...If at all possible, your b/f should NOT have the vasectomy. Don't let him make the decision for both of you. I didn't think I wanted kids either, at 25, but now it's too late for me to have (my own) kids and I regret it tremendously. Continue using some form of birth-control. You both still have a huge chunk of your life yet to discover. Believe me, you'll be amazed by the changes you are going to go through in the next 5 - 10 years. And yes, vasectomies can be reversed, but I wouldn't recommend it as a solution. Better not to have it done yet and re-visit the issue when he's 30 or 35. Then maybe.
-Cinderella
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