A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going through alot of arguments and fights for the past 3 months. I feel like he has gotten distant to me and he wouldn't even communicate with me like he used to. When I try to bring all these issues up and try to resolve them he would say that i'm complaining too much yada yada yada. So the situations would never get resolved and I would just bottle it up inside more and more. I had a suspicison that he was talking to someone else so I told him that I feel like your talking to someone else because whenever he or I call at night he only talks to me for like 10 minutes and then hes like I have a headache, or I'm going outside, or I have a high temper, etc. He makes excuses to get off the phone so he doesn't talk to me. So I asked him if he is talking to someone at night and he said no and he swore to god twice. I didn't believe him so I go check his phone bills and look what I see, the past 3 months he has been talking to someone internationally from the minute he gets off the phone with me till 5am in the morning.So I was fighting with him (A LONG STORY ON ITS OWN) and he turned the situation against me and he broke up with me, then next week he comes crawling back (i guess because he wanted sex? ugh) and i actually did take him back because i thought he wouldn't do anything stupid anymore and he learned his lesson. Unfortunately, he is still talking to that girl or girls (i don't even know) and we still fight. I'm so miserable right now, its at the point where we fight everyday and he says so many mean and hurtful things to me. The only reason I want this to work out is because he is my first bf and I gave up my virginity to him. Ughh what should I do? I'm so torn up inside. It's killing me to stay with him when I check his phone bills every night and I see him talking to someone else. But then I try to rationalize it and be like well its international so he doesn't see the girl/girls, he just talks to them. So he really isnt cheating on me but in a way it feels like he does... emotionally. Why is he being all secretive and he doesn't tell me about them? Why does he have to hide it? Aghh please someone help me, i'm going crazy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): Is he Arab.... It sounds like it...Arab men are always secretive!!! It doesnt mean he is cheating!! Does he have family that lives internationaly? If so , what are their day time hours? When was the last time he went over there? All of your answers will tell you if he is cheating and what his intentions are! You said that you lost your virginity to this guy? That is sad :( !! It is obvious that he does not respect you, and you dont want to try to force anything to work! What GOD wills, GOD wills. The longer you deal with the disrespect the worse it will get and the harder it will be to pull away. You have to be strong if u end it and dont take him back... cuz chances are he only wants ONE thing!! If those girls were here would he have crawled back the last time? NO WAY !! Get yourself busy with a hobby or school ..Something.. and as son as he notices you are moving on he will GO KKRRAZZY !! Trust Me !!! Then the ball will be in your court...
Anyways good luck
Let me know what happens or what you think of my comments !!
LULU
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006): hi im 16, im not with my boyfriend anymore but we was like that all the time but he got girls ringing him up tellin him to go up to her house to her...//
i was so insecure as u i would always be ringing him askin him where he was and once he told me he was at his house but i was standin on the opposite street from where the girl lived and i could see him, which didnt go down well at all...//
comin to think of it now i wish i had finished him wen he was doing all this to me as it hurt me so much...//
if i was u i would finish him cus it sounds like he is just using you anyway cus he cant get sex off anyone else... y else would some1 finish you then want u bk and still phone other girls...//
its ur choice tho hun...//
im sorry if this advice dont help much but im quite new to giving out advice and i just dont know how to explain it all...//
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