A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. at first he was paying everthing for his and his ex wife house because he has a 16 year old daughter.She is now almost 20 years old and living with her boyfriend. My boyfriend is still paying everthing for his ex wife because she refused to work.He lives with me in my house, only help out once in a while "when he has money" and when I ask him questions on this he get upset. Tell me that I'm only with him for his money. He tells me that the ony reason he keeps on paying is because he does not want to lose his house. He wants to sell it a split the money, however, he's unable to do this because his mother in law (80 + years) lives. there.He tells me that this will not go on forever, however, he said that when his daughter was 18 that this would stop.............2 years after and nothing has changed. Should I cut my loses now?
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ex-wife, his ex, money Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (25 August 2009):
 You're wasting your time with him, honestly. It seems as though he's incapable of standing up for himself and being assertive towards his ex, and from what you've said it sounds like he's never going to change, no matter what you do or say. People will never change unless they really want to, and it's incredibly disrespectful of him to be placing any priority on his ex-wife, now that their daughter is no longer living with her.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (25 August 2009):
 Yes. Cut your losses.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): hey this is kind of like my situation, my bf is paying all the bills for his ex, they have a 3yr old daughter togtha, i can understand paying matanance but paying her bills?! (which are over £1000 each!!!) i asked him he he jst said hes paying what hes responsible for. we have jst moved into a house 2gtha and we cant even afford the essensials and im 5months preg with his baby! it sounds like to me he isnt over his ex and hes showing it by paying everything for her, maybe hes doing it becuase he sees it as a way of still being close to him or he likes to no she is relying on him. shes taking advantage of him by not getting work and hes happy to play along. sit down and talk to him seriously, if he carrys on paying everything for her, u should consider whether he actually wants to be with yougood luck x
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