A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:The question is: "Does It Sound Serious?" I've written to you before and asked for advice on if I should stick it out and wait. You and one other told me to wait. Another told me to dump him. I've decided to wait and so far I'm glad I did. My guy told me that he isn't ready for a relationship, but, doesn't want me to leave. He wants to build our relationship. I want it like right now. I agreed to wait. After telling me, he doesn't want a relationship, he sends me these mixed messages, at least I think they are. He tells me to listen to old love songs which fit us somewhat. If I tell him that another guy looked at me or wants to take me out, he reacts sort of jealously. I was heartbroken when he said he didn't want a relationship yet, but, yet he doesn't want me to go away. It's killing me inside, but, I'm gonna wait. Interested in hearing another point of view.
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (21 February 2011):
 you have to let people go if they cannot give you what you want. no-one is so amazing that even if they mess you around you should tolerate it. thats just letting someone take advantage of you and this shows them you dont have a huge amount of respect for yourself. or else you would walk away.
also have you two had sex because the answer to that will explain this situation more clearly.
A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (21 February 2011):
he should make up his mind if this has gone on for awhile, it's not fair to you. But if you're unable to walk away from him and would rather endure this limbo than not have him in your life, then he has you right where he wants and there will be no reason he would commit to you, because he doesn't have to and yet you will still be there like he wants.
And actually, if he doesn't want you to go away and doens't want you to see other guys, then actually you ARE in a relationship already, just one that is not on your terms.
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A
female
reader, Lovely15 +, writes (21 February 2011):
If he's not paying rent, don't let him take up any space in your heart or your head. It's better to be single than with a guy who puts you second. Seriously, what's the hold up?? I know... maybe he doesn't want a relationship since he's getting all the benefits of one without having to only have sex with one girl. He's probably a great guy but he sounds typical. Just stop paying attention to him and he'll see that if he doesn't put in the time and effort to have you in his life then he can't have you.
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