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He's never told me directly that he loves me but he says it over text. Why does he do that?

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 April 2018)
A female United States age 22-25, *atilakolrin writes:

Me and my guy friend know each other for 1 year, we are in a long distance friendship since he moved out to another state for work 2 months ago. I do know that he loves me before he even moved out, but he didn't tell me that until 1 month ago. He wants to be in a relationship, but I'm not ready for it. Whenever we are calling, he would bring up that he wants to be in a relationship, how much he wants to be with me, and when he wants to confess his feelings, he would tell me *i will write you in a text how i feel about you*. He would write me he loves me but he wouldn't say it to me directly when we call, he would only write it to me in a text. I asked him if he's shy to say it, but he wouldn't answer me when i ask him this question and tells me (never mind). Why is it hard to him to say it? Is he genuinely shy or he just doesn't want to say it because it might not be genuine when he says it to me instead of a text? Or just afraid of rejection?

View related questions: long distance, moved out, shy, text

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (15 April 2018):

Dionee' agony auntStop with the back and forth and get OUT of this relationship. If you genuinely are NOT ready for a relationship. In fact, both of you might be unprepared.

Here are a few scenario's:

1. YOU think you don't want a relationship but you do based on you wondering whether or not he loves you (which is irrelevant if you don't want to be with him anyway).


2. He thinks he's ready for a relationship but he isn't (he may be emotionally handicapped or weary of your feelings).


3. You both aren't ready and you're delaying the inevitable.


4. You're both into each other but won't be the first to admit it.

Either way, the two of you are playing games and will end up wasting a lot of time, effort, energy and money.

Have a conversation. Be honest about what you want and allow him to do the same.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2018):

Your not ready for a relationship op that's what you state .. so why are you hankering over whether he can say I love you verbally.. I think your being rather selfish .. either you want to make this work as something more or you just want friendship, pick one .. tell him and then go form there. All the best sweetie

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