A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, my boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me about a year ago. After a couple months of not talking, he decides he wants back in my life as a friend at first. So we start talking and i revealed the fact that i had "gotten together" with a boy at my work. He was immediately furious saying that he did not even talk to any girls when we were broken up. And now he wants to know all the details of what went on with this work fling even after i stressed that it was a very big mistake. I love this boy but he is driving me crazy with his 20 questions with his distrust in me. I wanted to get back together with my ex but i dont think he will ever get over it. Do you think he can? And does he have a right to pass judgements on me when he was the one that broke up with me??? What should i do??
View related questions:
broke up, get back together, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (19 June 2009):
 Don't answer any more of his questions about this. The more you tell him, the more upset he'll get. Every bit of information and detail will just give him extra stuff to criticise you over, and extra stuff for him to obsess over and get angry about.
Also, you'll probably end up contradicting yourself by accident at some point. Then he's guaranteed to accuse you of lying and this will get even worse.
So... stop answering his questions. The less he knows, the better. For the both of you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): I don't think you was in the wrong when you was with another guy. After all, you were single at the time, your ex had broken up with you.
But I do understand his feelings though. It might seem to him that you wasn't too concerned or bothered about the split, if you found someone else.
I think he needs a lot of reassurance from you, about how you feel about him. Do you really want to work things out with him, and try again? If so, then remind him of this, tell him that you are only interested in him right now.
And if he asks for details of what happened with the other guy, I would advise trying to steer the conversation away from that topic. Maybe try saying "I don't want to talk about that, it was nothing, being with you again is what matters now".
Hopefully, he will start to feel more secure and stop asking, and you can both work on sorting things out. But if not, then it might be something that will always bother him, and then you will have to decide whether you are willing to put up with his insecurity, or whether it is too much and you should both walk away.
I hope you are both able to work things out, good luck. x
...............................
|
