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anonymous
writes:Well, i am 17 years old. I met a guy at college and we get along really well. I like him alot but he is 30. I sometimes think the way he acts around me that he might like me but im not sure. He smiles alot when he is around me and if he sees me in the cafe he will come and sit next to me even when i am with my friends. But there is something that is bothering me, his age is one of the factors but he has this weired thing he does with his eyes, he blinks alot and squints his eyes as if he is on drugs or something.... is it drugs?? and is the age differance a problem??. thank you in advance x
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell heres the latest. We went for a drink and everything went great.that was on friday and we spent saturday and sunday together aswell. yesterday i went to his at 12 and stayed there till 10 at night. We cuddled in on the bed and watched a movie. I really like him..should i keep it up?? everyone is telling me its a bad idea and that he only wants me for one thing but they dont know him like i do. He says he likes me and dosent think its a problem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell, thanks for all the advice i am going to go for it. He asked for my number so i gave it him and he says he will call me when he gets credit. But im just wondering...
As he is 30 and i am 17 how would i go about asking him out?? without making me seem like a lovesick teenager with a little crush (which it isnt btw)
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reader, Learning2Love +, writes (14 December 2006):
 As with anything age isn't a problem unless you make it a problem.
If he treats you well and respects you, who is to say it's wrong. Besides most of the agony aunts here are over thirty...
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female
reader, sheffield_pink +, writes (14 December 2006):
When you're young enough to be their child then it's not right
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): Kenny, a 20 year old is an adult. A 17 year old is not! How irresponsible of you to give such advice. I totally agree with Eyes and Phobe. This age gap is huge and I have to ask, what do you have in common with a man of this age? why is he interested in a teenager? why isn't he pursuing women in his own age group? is there a reason why he can't connect with them? (haven't you wondered about that?) Does he have a past history of relationships with young girls? And yes, Eyes is right on when she states that you will get a lot of Aunts who will feel that what is happening here, is perfectly fine. And I am guessing a lot of them will be male aunts, like good ole Kenny. lol . (I wonder shy? heh heh) But it's not okay...it's highly inappropriate and there are a number of reasons why older men go after teen girls. 1) He sounds like an older guy who likely can't maintain a relationship with an female equal and turns to someone younger as a way to bolster self-esteem. And 2) sometimes these older guys have those old-fashioned, rigid, stereotyped view of masculinity where they see the "conquest" of a young girl as an affirmation of their sagging libidos and manhoods. And too, adult men who have control issues will find it easier to control someone who is younger. So I would say do not date this guy for the following reasons: a) You are not his equal and b) he is not your peer. You have to really, really wonder where his level of maturity is at , when he thinks hanging out with teen girls and her friends..is kinda cool. I think he has problems, one of them being he is a bit perverted. Dump this one.
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reader, kenny + ♥, writes (11 December 2006):
 An age difference is only a problem if you make it one. You have got to do what you feel is right. If your heart is telling you to go for it then do so. You are 17, over the age of consent, and thirty is not excactly over the hill is it. i don't agree with the comment that he could be your dad, yes theoretically it is possible he could have had you when he was 13, but if you think about comments like that the relationship is doomed to fail. Im 31 and have been flirting with a 20 year old, aliright the gap is only 11 years, the thought of i could be her dad is somewhat disturbing.
As for his eye twiching im sure as EYESWIDEOPEN says its probably dry contact lenses, or facial twitches, or an infection or something.
I say go for it girl x
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reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 December 2006):
 He might wear contacts and they irritate him sometimes or he could get facial ticks when he's nervous. Lots of things could be causing this not just drug use. As far as the age difference, 13 years is a pretty big difference but I know lots of aunts will tell you that it's no big deal for them. It would just be a matter of getting to know each other and then you'll be able to see if you can really connect.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): If you like him enough, then you should keep it up. If you think that the age difference or the possible drug taking, is going to be a problem with you, back off. It's your choice. If you love him...and can see a future, then go for it. If not, well...don't go for it.
Hope this can help!
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reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (11 December 2006):
 hey,
I do think the age difference is a big factor here - I mean, he's old enough to be your dad!!!
You've admitted in your post that your not 100% keen because of this strange eye thing he does and do you really want to get involved with someone who may be on drugs. Sorry to say it honey but this sounds like it's going to be a bit to much stress on your heart. You may think it's love, but find someone your own age who can make you even happier, love will come, you just have to be patient.
Hope this helped,
Phoebe xxXxx
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