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He's 16, I'm 18. Is it okay to have a relationship with him even although he's my best friend's brother?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Friends

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Question - (18 February 2007)

8 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2007)

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've liked this guy for a while now and I finally told my best friend about it. She thought it would be a good idea to get my crush and me some time together. So we went out and we came out to each other saying that we liked each other. We kissed, we held hands and what not and the very next day we saw each other. I really like him...I really do. I hope he likes me back....problems is that he's younger than me...he's 16 and I'm 18. Plus, his sister is one of my closest friends and I don't know if its right or wrong. We decided to see each other...we are gonna take it slow. What should I do? Am I okay doing what I'm doing?

View related questions: best friend, crush, friend's brother

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A female reader, blahblahblah +, writes (3 April 2007):

ha...ha... update. well, he was a player who only wanted to get into my pants. i'm not too ugly and not too pretty, but i'm naive as hell. glad i never really got into it w/ him, otherwise i'ld REALLY be balling my eyes out. yeah, girls, beware of 16 year olds!!

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A female reader, blahblahblah +, writes (14 March 2007):

omg, i know how u feel! i just googled to find out if anyone else had the same situation as me... and i'm so glad. there's been a guy at my skool who is 16 and i just turned 18 about 2 weeks ago. i feel so perverted lol, but at the same time i can't deny my feelings so easily. but... i've just been wondering how true he is if he keeps avoiding me. i can't tell if it's becuz he's nervous and doesn't want to look like a fool if he's quiet around me or if he "pouts" that i don't talk to him right away and he walks off somewhere. it always happens during lunch in the hallway. i don't get it...? compared to ur story at least ur guy talks to u, i think mine is actually a lil more shy than i thought... he seems so outgoing it's crazy. of course, he could be avoiding me out of dislike, but i actually doubt it at this point in time... is it ok if i post my story along w/ urs? lol

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Alright...I started feeling a little itch. This weird feeling came over me one day when we were together. It was doubt. I mean not from my own feelings but from him. I don't know why but I did. The next few days I began to think and think about the possible thoughts in his head. And yesterday I spent the day with him....you know just a normal day. When I went home all I thought about was him and how I felt. The morning I woke up bc I had a bad dream...I texted him and I told him and he was sympathetic. Then the question came to the surface...I asked him, "I want to ask you a question. Are ur feelings for me in the right place bc I like you a lot and I don't wanna go in neck-deep without being sure its worth it." He didn't answer back. I called his buddy and he said he would talk to him. He called and he just said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry...I'm sorry." Tears were rolling down my face. And I said, "what are you sorry for?" and he said, "because I'm not sure. I have mixed feelings for you. I like you...I'm head over heels for you but I don't want to promise you anything until I know its for sure. I don't want a serious relationship until I know my head is in the right place. I don't want to put you though hell when I'm here confused. And I don't want to lie to you. I'm young and dumb...I just need time to think about us. I pray there will be a future with us and I hope your feelings don't fail for me. I'm young and I wanna enjoy everything of it." I said, "that's why we're seeing eachother. I'm not asking you to drop the world for me. I'm not asking you to leave your friends. I just don't want to hurt over things that aren't worth it." He said, "I'm not worth it?" and I said, "you're worth everything I got but its not worth being stuck in the middle between liking you and being a friend if there's nothing there." We talk more and we decided to see a light to the future. I like him soo much but it hurts to know I don't have him now. Should I wait? Is he worth all my trouble?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

You know...I hoped every day that I could fall for this one because its the best feeling in the world when ur in love. I fell in love once and that was a bust. I guess I'm scared to move into this because I don't wanna get hurt again. I really don't. I don't wanna go through all the crap that I dealt with in the past again...I don't wanna hit rock bottom again. I don't feel anything for my ex anymore...I just don't give a damn about him but the only thing from him that still clings on to me are the scars. This new guys says he really does care for me...and I care for him...I'm gonna stick it up like a champ and take a risk on my feelings...I would kill to have the feeling of getting loved back again...it'll be better this time bc its from him. I trust him with my heart.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (22 February 2007):

Why the doubts?? Because he's not perfect to "other people"? Well, first off, that's a good thing... less competition... and second off, he seems perfect to YOU! If you've found heaven in someone's arms, stay in them. You're a lucky, lucky girl to find someone that you really enjoy.

Oh yeah, and I'm glad your friend was okay with it... you've got a great friend. Hold on to her!!

xxIndia

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I told her! She's totally cool with it! God its such a relief! ((Sigh))

But yeah...I'm really falling for him.

But I'm not sure if I should.

He asked me if I was "head over heels" for him...and I said yes...he said he was too.

He's rough around the edges..he's not perfect to other people's eyes...but I like him just the way he is. I can't help but miss him when he's not with me and I feel like I'm in heaven when I'm hugging him.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (18 February 2007):

Hey there,

If your friend is alright with, I'd say go for it. If his sister is really one of your good, close friends, I think the good, close friend thing of you to do would be to ask her if she'd be super weirded out by it. Tell her that you really dig her brother, and that you swear you won't put her in the middle or tell her anything graphic about your relationship.

If you talk to your friend about it, I think it's all good. The age difference isn't that bad at alll - he seems to like you and you him. This is all hunky-dory if his sister is okay with it too. If she's not... well, write again and we'll take it from there.

Good luck, sweetness!

xxIndia

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