A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi hope you can help. I met my current girl friend 3 years ago. We were friends for about 4 months, talking regularly by email, telephone and meeting up.We had both experieced breakups and had been honest about our pasts and i felt there was a real connection between us. I had asked to take things further but she said she wanted to just be friends for now. Anyway she went on holiday and about a month after she got back she told me she had sex a one night stand. I felt hurt, mainly because it made me feel unattractive and worthless. I decided to break off our friendship, then she suddenly decides she wants to take things further, and that her fling meant nothing.I'd kind of come to term with it, when i found an old email, (we live together now, one computer) she had sent to her friends at the time describing how wonderful her fling was and even a photo of him, at the end of the email almost as a footnote she says to her friend, why is it you always want the people you can't have, and the people you can you don't.Clearly her fling meant everything, i feel used.Any thoughts?
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female
reader, Cherriepie  +, writes (21 March 2008):
 Im sorry about this hunny. I know this had to hurt. Her email said everything you need to know. This fling was bigger than she admited to you and clearly you are "second place" for her. If it was just a onetime thing, a little sex and nothing more, I might forgive her and let it go. But then you ran into this email...The email said nothing about how special you are to her, but gave a rave review of this guy she only knew a while on her vacation.
You might consider that the reason he is unattainable to her is not only the distance, but that he also may be attached himself. It may have just been as big a fling for him as her, but somehow its impossible for them to get together. I know that doesnt help you though.
The good thing is you did read this email and you know the truth. I think you should break up with her. Her choosing to be with you is a compromise for her happiness.....so you should take a big hint and not compromise you happiness either. Its better for both of you to split up. I hope you hang on and I wish you luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): dump her.dude, the relationship is not going to work. she is clearly a stupid little s*** who needs to grow up. and you my friend can do much better.and i know how you feel, being rejected and then the girl going off with someone else, it does make you feel worthless, and i can only imagine the pain you felt when you found that old email...=[break off the relationship and the friendship (for a while), you need to get girls like that outta your life and go get yaself a decent babe!trust me, it won't take long. but it might not be exactly the girls you want, but hey who cares, you'll be single and nothing helps you get over someone like having casual sex (sad but true, lol).you can do better than this s***!
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