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Her ex is possesive and live-in... What to do?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 May 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2008)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm in a bit of a pickle, here, and I am looking for maybe some advice.

I met this wonderful girl, she's extremely attractive, and we both like the aspects of eachother we believe are our most prominent. We make eachother laugh, and she is very affectionate, which I enjoy.

Here's the catch: Her ex, fairly recent, was having a money problem, and he moved back in with her... They are friends, and I dont mind that.

When I got into the picture (He moved in long before I was around), he seemed to me to be extremely possesive, and all touchy-feely like a boyfriend... In my presence, it bothered her a bit... But sometimes she went along with it... I was a bit bothered, but I got the impression he was like that because he was the normal ex... Cant see the old gal with a new guy, you know.

Anyways, I know she'd like something to do with me, but how do I handle him? She doesnt like to act boyfriend/girlfriend with me when he is around, and he gets angry and possesive when I'm with her. I've talked with her a smidge about it... She was responsive but without resolve.

What can I do? Any suggestions as to how to address this? Is it worth it?

View related questions: her ex, money, moved in

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A female reader, Isabella1974 Ireland +, writes (28 May 2008):

Isabella1974 agony auntHi there,

It sounds like her ex is still interested in her.

I honestly find it strange that she agreed to leave her ex move back in with her again, did he not have family or friends that he could have moved in with?

Anyway you say this does not bother you well if you are happy then it must be ok for you.

Another thing i would say however, she needs to be clear with her ex and tell him not to be touching her, if he respects her, he should understand this and back off and if she respects you then she would ensure that this does not happen again whether you are there or not.

I dont like it when you tell me when her ex is touchy feely that she goes along with it, does she enjoy being in the middle of two guys who fancy her and is playing along with it, sorry i dont mean to worry you, its just that i would keep my wits about me if i were you. You could get hurt if she is not clear on how she feels, i thing she enjoys the attention she is getting.

I suggest talking with her and sussing out what the story is. It could be that he does not like the fact that she has moved on, but i would question the fact that they are living together, call me sceptical, but for me i would thing there was more going on than meets the eye here.

Go along as you are, keep your eyes open.

Take care

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