A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend's ex-boyfriend seems to still have some hold over her, even after over a year now. He calls her about once a week and while she says she "hates when he calls", she does return his calls. She will text reply to him when we're sitting in a restaurant or just watching TV. She chats with him via yahoo both at work and at the house. We have discussed this numerous times and she says she is not going to do it anymore each time, but it still continues. She even admits that he has some sort of control over her. She is the type of person that wants to stay friends with everyone, and I appreciate that about her. Problem is that with this guy, the conversations seem rather inappropriate from her, especially if she is in love with me as much as she says and shows. I have exercised much patience thinking this would just fizzle away. Not wanting to give up what we have over such a seemingly piddly thing. BUT, I can feel my patience starting to wear thin and more and more when I find her on the phone or chatting, my first thought is that it is with him. I know this will be destructive and I do not want it to be, but I just don't know what to do about it. All the rational talking between us about it just doesn't seem to be having any effect. Any advice?
View related questions:
at work, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tsurugi-ijin  +, writes (20 May 2008):
 Well, Talking.
But you've tried rationally talking, i think you need to bear your heart and soul, tell her how much this is worrying you.
you need to let her now how frustrating and upsetting this is, if she loves you like she says she'll understand.
I Really hope this works out for you.
All The Best, Jin
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (20 May 2008):
 Hmmm tricky one. On the one hand, there is nothing wrong with having male friends if you are female, and the same for men to have female friends. Although its a tad more strange when you have had a physical relationship with said friend previously. BUT its still possible, and i have managed to maintain friends with 3 of my exes. But not with contact as frequent as your lady has with her ex. Its even more worrying that she admits there is still some connection there. I would say if he has a hold, then that indicates a connection in my book.
If there are slight feelings still there, then i dont think its a wise move to stay friendly.
She sounds a very diplomatic person, and i'm sure she just isn't being assertive enough with him. Why doesn't she just not return his calls every now n then from now on, eventually he will get the message? If its because she doesn't want to cut him off dead, that might well be the easiest way for her to deal with it?
C xxxxx
...............................
|
