A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is kinda hot tempered...she blews off for unwanted things..even if its her fault?? there is one time where she lied to me and blew off at me as though it was my mistake..but we did talk it over..my question is why.?? How can you blew off at a person that you love so much...i never did that since the day i first dated her until 2day...im afraid that things will get ugly if i also blew up on her...i mean, is it necessary? why is she like that?? any particular reason?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (28 November 2008):
I guess I have a question... which is does she do this to everyone? or just to you? It's very dangerous and co-dependent to excuse it as just "hot-tempered" -- it gives her permission to keep it up. And the more you put up with it, the less respect she will have for you. She apparently has some issues.
I would, when you are both calm, calmly tell her that you appreciate that no one is perfect, and if she is having problems you will support her, but you do not appreciate her losing her temper and blowing up at you, and you will not put up with it.
Then when it happens, tell her, calmly, to calm down or you will walk out. If she doesn't, then you need to walk away. By this, I don't mean leave her per se, but leave the room, the restaurant, the house. This way she learns that if she wants to pleasure of your company, then she needs to keep her temper in check. You need to have a backbone about this, or she will continue to just blow up at you whenever the mood strikes her. Do not let her turn it around on you either - unless of course it's your fault - then you do need to take responsibility for your own actions as well.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): Some people are just hot tempered. And sometimes that passion extends to other things...!We can't all be the same. If you aren't the type to blow up then don't just do it for the sake of it.If it upsets you, try talking to her when she is calmer and let her know so maybe she'll think twice next time before she shouts.
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A
female
reader, Kathh  +, writes (27 November 2008):
 Some people are hot tempered especially if things build up inside them. Do you ask her (rationally) what the issue was after the event? What does she say?
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (27 November 2008):
 Hi there, Well, from everything you wrote, I would think that your girlfriend, is in need of an anger management class. She has a defensive personality and she wants it to be her way or no way. She also loves to dominate, it is not respectful of another human being, if you (she) is not going to even consider that the other person might just be right, if there is a right or wrong, or that it is alright to agree to disagree. If you love her so much, and you want to try to make this situation work out, then you must talk to her and explain that you do not like the way she behaves, like a spoiled child , and you would like her to try to change her ways, attend an anger management class, to control her outburst or things are not going to continue with the two of you. If you allow her to continue to behave like this, you will slowly lose your self-respect, and start to be intimidated by her, and that is not a good place to be. Or else you will find yourself shouting back at her, until someone backs down. Who wants a relationship like that? So the ball is in your court, two people make up a relationship, and each should respect the other, she has a hard time thinking of, or considering the other people on the planet. So think hard and decide what you want to do, but the tiger has to be tamed, in my opinion or she will have to be let loose into the wild, where she will learn the hard way. I am very curious, as to what her other boyfriends would have to say about her temper? You have to be assertive, or else you will find yourself, wondering who you are, with her forcing you to see things, her way all the time. Take care and stay in touch.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (27 November 2008):
 when someone lies to you and then 'blows off', then she is hiding her guilt behind a screen of noise. It makes you back away and not talk about the real issues. It's like a wall of talk, a psychologist would say that if you keep talking and not let anyone join in then you are guarding your self against something. She doesnt want you to see the real person behind this screen. She could be feeling insecure because of something thats happened in her past, her family etc . She may feel if you break this wall down you won't like her for herself so she has to keep this act up as a way of keeping distance between you. If she's worth it she is worth fighting for so just be patient. Usually when some one can trust, then the walls break down slowly. hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Neboraic +, writes (27 November 2008):
i would do one of two things, 1. leave, 2. treat her like a child. In the sense that, even if its her fault, just go along with it and take the blame with that "if you say so" attitude (providing its not too emasculating, there are limits)
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