A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, so this isn't really a dating question but I guess it has to do with relationships. I've always been quiet and to myself (not shy though just quiet) I don't really talk to new people unless they talk to me first but, once I start I can go on and on. haha. Anyways, I didn't even really see this as much of a problem until yesterday I went to my boyfriends college for the first time and 'met' his room mate and by that we both just said hi and nothing more. Later on my boyfriend told me that his room mate asked if I liked him because it didnt seem like it and I was silent. This has happened to me more then once but its not like I give them reasons to think I dont like them such as giving them a bad look or anything I smile and say hi and thats all. My boyfriend on the other hand is very outgoing and can make friends with anyone. I really wish I could be more like that but I'm just not.. What are some good ways to help start conversations? I'm so lost with it all, I'm pretty insecure and been growing up in a house where what I have to say just isn't important so I been basically trained to keep to myself. Any help would be great. thanks :)
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female
reader, IceFaerie  +, writes (26 August 2010):
 Hey.
I'm like you,I've always been quiet and have a hard time starting conversations with new people.
It's always "Hi,how are you?" "Fine,thanks" and then the conversation stops because I cannot find anything to say.Then I start getting paranoid and panicking about what to say so I don't seem boring or as if I don't like the other person.This has bugged me for ages,but I found something I think works.Relax.Then think of anything you may know about the other person,like if they have a hobby or whatever,just start with "So,I heard you're really into.." and go from there.Usually,they will appreciate the interest you show,and you will have gotten a conversation going.Even if it doesn't turn into an hour long conversation,the next time you meet them it will be easier,because you've broken the proverbial ice.
If the person you meet is someone you know nothing about,what I do is I try to think of anything in general,like commenting about the place you're in "So,this party is pretty fun.Do you know alot of people here?" You know,random stuff.
And,as Oregongrl1 said,laughter is a great way to ease tension.Don't be afraid to add some humour,mention something funny.Most people loosen up after you've shared a laugh.
Good luck and don't worry.
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (26 August 2010):
Just be yourself and it will all fall in place. and like who you are with out a doubt. laughing for me always eased the tention.
Good Luck!
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