A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married to my husband for 5 years. For the past 2 years he has blamed me for everything that goes wrong in our relationship. He constantly moans so much so that it has eventually made me feel down and depressed. I work in the day and he works nights. I usualy have a good day in work and the minute I have to go home it feels like a black cloud appears above my head. I so want to leave my husband, he doesn't show me any affection, I have no self esteem, hardly any confidence. My friends and family say that I have changed. We sit in silence and we more or less lead separate lives. I live in misery, I have no where to go because I am on a low wage, which now he wants me to pay half of all the bills, even the mortgage. So I could'nt even afford to put money away to even get a rent deposit. I am so desperate to get away. My family have no room for me, so I am stuck and I just don't know what to do anymore, every avenue I persue, I find a brick wall straight ahead.!!
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confidence, depressed, money, self esteem Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (23 December 2008):
 What has gone wrong in the past two years to make him change? i would want to delve into that part of your marriage and see if there is any issues there that can be solved could he be depressed? people do not usually moan for nothing sometimes they have reason to moan so you need to find out why he is like this he probably vents his anger on you because he can and has no one else to vent it on it does'nt make it right far from it so we need to be asking why he does this and if he could help himself to overcome this attitude. You both sound as if your drifting apart and none of the two of you are prepared to do anything about it unfortunatley when this happens things can become stagnant and it is really up to the both of you to ask what is it your getting from one another if you feel you would like a separation from him maybe your family can make room for you if you tell them your desperate they will and if the time apart could help you to see what you want then you will have your answer you both could also try Marriage Counselling Relate is free just Google it and it will come up with an address near where you are. More than anything i feel you need to be mixing with people get out there are loads of places you can go to that don't cost money churches/chapel all over the country have so much on at this time and it maybe lift your spirits a bit being with people try and find solace for you right now take care.
Gina
A
female
reader, MissUnique +, writes (23 December 2008):
 Hi, first of all I'm sorry about the dilemma. Have you ever tried marriage counselling? He might not know just how desperate you are. If he refuses, you know he definitely doesn't want it to work so leaving would be best I think. Have you got any friends that could let you stay for a little while just until you get things straight and the free road replaces the brick wall? I can't think of anything right now to help your situation of what comes next...that's presuming he refuses the counselling, if you go for it.
I'll either post another answer or email you when I can think clearer ( I'm on adventurous training in the Belize jungle - I get home Christmas Eve - I'm in the army if you're wondering :) ) I hope things get easier for you and soon too, being unhappy is the suckiest thing ever :)
Good Luck!!!!!
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