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female
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*eachblonde11
writes: CUPID please help me! The new guy I went to prom with and now dating for 3 weeks, we were pulling out of school on our way in town and he turned soooo fast I flew across the passenger seat into him! I hit the steering wheel and we just bumped in to the curb! He got soooo mad! And he was totally embarrassed cuz his 2 friends were in the back when I asked him what happened. He told me to "SHUT THE HELL UP!" I was so upset that night we were supposed to go to a party and I went and he didn't! But yet he called every hour to his best friend who was hosting the party and asked him what I was up to and was I flirting with other guys! ummm NO! That night he text me and was like I'm not mad I'm just a lil drunk and don't feel like talking.... so him and his friend talked right after we did and he asked him what I did the whole night and his friend was like, dude she was a good girl - nothing happened. Now I really want things to be OK cuz I'm really starting to like him. What do I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2006): The best thing you could have done would be to tell him calmly to stop the car and to have climbed out. That would have shown him that you deserve to be treated with respect. As it happened, you sat there quietly, obeying his anger. Isnt it horrible in a new relationship when someones real colors come through? This doesnt get better over time...it gets worse. He has the classic signs of anger issues. The worst part is that you've shown him that its ok to do. He will tell you that it wont happen again, but if that was true, and that was who he really is, it wouldnt have happened in the first place. My advice is, although you think you like him right now, to get out of the relationship. Sure it will hurt a little, but it is better than thinking a few months down the line that you should have listened when more experienced people who have gone thru similar things were all giving you the same advice. Its hard to accept right now, but you dont want to be sitting in that same car in 10 years with your kids in the back and him telling you to shut the hell up do you? The bottom line is, he doesnt respect you. Time to go.
A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (28 May 2006):
 Hey thereWell firstly i kinda agree with irish, he shopuldn't be shouting at you for his mistakes i have been on the end of mens temper and its not pretty they are always sorry it will never happen again, etc...etc... and then for him to call up his friend checking up on you the whole night like your his possession, both of these factors my dear don't add up to a good healthy relationship he obviously has no respect for you at all he just thinks that you will keep putting up with his stupidness!sweetie trust me this is the time you should lay down the law here cut him and run... tell him your not gonna take this rubbish from anyone especially not him stand up for yourself get out while you can before its to late oki hope i have been able to helpYou Take Care X
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (28 May 2006):
 For you to have flown across the car like that was you wearing a seat belt? No he shouldnt have shouted at you like that but at the same time but his responce could have been out of shock at what happened because you hitting the steering wheel obviously caused him to lose control, but he still should have said sorry for the way he shouted at you, I think you should have a chat with him about the way you was shouted at and inform him that you wont tolerate being spoken to like that for whatever reason he had for doing it and that you feel you are owed a sorry for it, 3 weeks and already he is keeping checks on you??? have a good think about what you are letting yourself in for as if things are like this now imagine what they will be like in 3 months or more and if he gets away with it now he will only believe he always can.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2006): It's time for you to learn a lesson about men and setting boundries on the way you should be treated. Never, ever tolerate this type of disrespect from anyone. You've been dating for 3 weeks and already he's allowing his darker side, come through. This will worsen over time...and I think you know it. The best thing you can do is 'dump and run', girl. He's an ass and he's not worthy of you. Get out now! I don’t care how many times he apologizes. You are dating someone who loses his temper quickly and it will escalate over time. It could turn to abuse. Learn now to never become one of those typically codependent women who go into denial and make excuses for a guy's bad temper and his lashing out behaviours. Always discern a person's character and whether or not they'd be good for you, by their behaviours...no what they say.
Think Smart girl....
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