A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend just started playing world of warcraft with his brother. They used to played it, but my bf quit because uni started and there physically was not enough time. He told me he used to stay up til 5am playing WoW during the summer and would just play all day. Well, it's summer time again, and first day of summer, he gets WoW. We have had a great relationship for the past 9 months. We saw eachother a bunch, would talk when we could and enjoyed eachothers company often.Now, he won't respond to my text messages, he doesn't pick up his phone and i havn't seen him in 3 days because of World of Warcraft.I am so frusterated as my father is addicted to online gaming and it has torn apart and ruined my family.I am not sure what to do, as I know that if my bf develops an addiction to WoW, the relationship will end.How do I bring the issue up to him? Or should I end it all together.Thanks
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female
reader, LT1977  +, writes (17 October 2011):
I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 years today because of his WoW addiction. We moved in together during the first year of dating and lived together for the most part. He has been playing WoW for about 6 years now. At first, it wasn't nearly as bad so I didn't really have a problem. He would play for an hour or so a day but gradually it took complete control of his life.
He has a part-time job at home which takes about 3 hours of his daily time. And for the rest of the day it's WoW. Often times he doesn't sleep at all and plays for 2 days straight. I have been laid off and unemployed for almost a year, so living under the same roof we are with each other 24/7--but NOT really WITH each other. I feel so lonely and ignored. I would have to ask him to take out the trash at least 5 times before he even acknowledged it. His computer desk's always a mess with soda cans and cigarette ashes every where. Food sits there for god knows how long. He even abandons his hygiene by not showering at all for an entire week. Some days he doesn't even brush his teeth.
Needless to say, our sex life is almost non-existent. Forget about trying to have a conversation. Most of the time I would ask him a question only to have it answered very briefly or with either a "yes" or a "no". Hell, he wouldn't even turn to look at me when doing so. I don't know how many times I have talked to him about how it's taking a tow on our relationship. I have talked to him on several occasions expressing how unhappy I am and how it's deteriorating our relationship. He does not think so and downplays it.
Twice before I even gave him an ultimatum to choose me or the game. He said he loved me yet he was hesitant to choose me over WoW. Twice I left him and twice he said he would stop playing if I came back. While he did stop for a few weeks, he always managed to get it back in his life. I was weak and couldn't help myself. I loved him dearly and believed he would change. It kills me every time I have to do this but enough is enough. This time I skipped the ultimatum and went straight to packing my things. While I was packing he remained on the game never even bother to persuade me to stay. Before I shut the door behind me I told him, "Yeah, this is what you call love, huh?" He answered with, "I do love you but there's nothing I could do." I laughed sarcastically and shut that door. The thing is, I never asked him to stop playing. I just wanted him to cut down a bit and put real life priorities first.
I am very hurt but at the same time extremely angry. The anger overtakes the hurt to some degree and is keeping me strong, but I know once it subsides I will be weak again. May god give me the strength...
Thank you for reading.
LT1977
A
female
reader, LT1977 +, writes (17 October 2011):
I am like you. I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 years today because of his WoW addiction. We moved in together during the first year of dating and lived together for most of that time. He has been playing WoW for about 6 years now. At first it wasn't nearly as bad so I didn't really have a rpoblem with it. He wouldbut gradually it took complete control of his life. He has a part-time job at home which takes about 3 hours of his time daily. He plays on an average of 12 hours a day. I don't know how many times I had talked to him about how it was taking a tow on our relationship.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 April 2011):
 I'd agree that he sounds like he has an addiction problem with that game. I've seen it all too often, and it's one reason I've never really gotten into that game. I could easily see myself slipping into that virtual world over the real one.
He needs to decide what's more important to him, the game or you. I don't think you should force an ultimatum, but you definitely need to talk to him and tell him your feelings. It's up to him if he'll respect them. Ultimately you'll learn what's most important to him though.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 April 2011):
 Talk to him about it and set some boundaries. I understand you all too well, as I once was in a relationship with a man who I claim was a gaming addict. To WoW. Thanks to him ignoring me, canceling our plans, putting me second to WoW, I can't stand that game any longer. I absolutely hate it. And I've made it very clear to all other guys I have dated since, that I will not tolerate excessive gaming. If they want a relationship with me, I must ALWAYS come before the game. It's a GAME after all, a REAL PERSON should matter more!
I also refuse to have anything to do with WoW. I'd rather my boyfriend didn't play it, but as he does play it I have told him I hate it, I don't want to see the game, I don't want to hear about it, and I most certainly will not be put on hold because of it.
Tell your boyfriend the same that I have told mine. Do it now before this goes too far. Bring up the addiction your father has, and how that has made an impact on you, and tell him he needs to respect that. He is in a relationship now, he's not single, so he must respect you and can't ignore you!
Unfortunately he does sound like a bit of an addict already, but then again teenage boys have a tendency to only care about themselves. Try to snap him out of it.
Maybe Im strict, but I have my boundaries and WoW and gaming is a deal breaker for me. If a person can't put me over the gaming then he doesn't deserve to be in a relationship with me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2011): As an online computer gamer myself I totally agree with you. If he is really serious about keeping you as a girlfriend he has to make time for you. Really, I think all relationships go through this in some form or fashion. Not just with world of warcraft. It's usually the male in the relationship doing his "manly things" or engaging in hobbies, but it can go this way with females too. Really, the answer is simple. Budgeting of time. He's probably slacking in his school work too huh? Been there done that.
You mentioned that your family is heavily into gaming too. Actually an alternative would be for you all to play together. Really with the relationships that I have been in the women I've been with never understood my hobbies or thought I was some kind of weird nerd. Really, all I wanted was for them to take interest in something I enjoyed or understand a little bit of it. It works both ways.
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A
male
reader, macdubh712 +, writes (18 April 2011):
I would tell his a** to choose: me or the game. If he chooses the game the so be it. You can't go down that road because you've already experienced firsthand how unhealthy this is. If he is addicted then he has a problem. It's UNHEALTHY and you don't deserve to be tossed aside like a magazine. Remember, the game or you. If he chooses the game then make sure he knows that you WILL NOT be there when he gets a break.
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