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He was seeing another girl while seeing me. Now I feel numb towards him. Whys this happening?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 September 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 September 2007)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm tired of a lot of things. I'm talking about A LOT of things. How is it that certain boys become somewhat of a weakness for me? I was sort of seeing this guy. I guess I say that because when we hang out... and he acts a certain way with me. He holds my hand and crap like that. He calls me his "friend" but it's confusing... he kisses me and what not and I wonder if he does this to every girl he considers a friend. We've had sex in the past... but as "friends"... and I knew it was going to change everything. It did. He called me the other day to complain to me about his trip to austin... I was listening. He said that he went to austin to get back together with his ex and when he was leaving she broke up with him. He was also complaining about how no one cares. And get this... he's 21! I guess I felt jealous towards his ex... I don't know whether I have the right to be mad but seems to me he's playing a little game.

later i found out that all this time he has been cheating on his gf(now ex) with me! OMG! Why didn't he tell me? agh... i told him if he wanted to be with her then he would have to let everything go about "us" and if he wanted to be with me that he would have to loose all ties with her. It just hurts so much because i care. I don't ùnderstand his motives or anything. It's damn confùsing. and for some reason...when i'm with him i feel cold and numb. i know i care for him but it wont come out. i dont understand. What does this all mean? What should I do?

View related questions: broke up, get back together, his ex, jealous

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (12 September 2007):

rcn agony auntIt means you care. You set morals for yourself. You decided what you are willing to put up with and what you are not. Now if it were me, I'd still just remain friends, but no more holding hands, kissing, or sex, just friends. The reason for that is your emotional protection. Think about it. What make you more special than the ex. He went to get back with her. And he's been seeing you at the same time. If he's willing to do that, you don't want to become the girlfriend while there's another friend he's tending to at the same time of being with you. I'm not saying you're not important. I'm saying if he'd do it to his girlfriend, now ex, more than likely if you dated him, he'd be doing the same thing. I'd be careful how far you decide to take it with this person.

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A female reader, CC-Monkey United Kingdom +, writes (12 September 2007):

CC-Monkey agony aunthe seems to be leading you round a circle, he likes you, he dosent, yes, no , yes.........Next time he wants to kiss, hold hands or have sex say no.He shouldnt be using you.best of luck

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A female reader, Jualsy Spain +, writes (12 September 2007):

Jualsy agony auntYou aren't asking the right questions...which is why you aren't getting the right answers.

What prevents you from moving on to someone who sees things the way you do and who wouldn't treat people like this?

Even if you were to get together he may not change and you would have no control over that.

You sound as if you are special...act that way and expect more....we all deserve that!!

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