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He was jealous of my past, now he's left me because of it, will he realize what he's lost?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 May 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 May 2008)
A female age 26-29, anonymous writes:

He left me, again!!! I'm so angry and hurt!!!!!

I don't even want to get back together with him anymore (OK, I do, but it's not a priority). He broke up with me because of his jealousy towards my past, because he got mad and insecure about every little detail, even if it happened before being with him!!!! (For instance, he got mad if me and an ex CRUSH, not even an ex boyfirend, shared the same interest for a band or a movie).

I'm so sand and hurt because he makes it seem as if it was my fault!!! I told him I hoped he realized that the present and future are more important in a relationship than the past for his next girlfriends, so he won't end up losing good girls anymore... he actually said "And you consider yourself to be a good person?"

The only revenge I want, the only thing I wish for, the only thing that'll make me happy is if he realizes that he lost me, a great girl (beautiful, smart, funny, talented AND patient, because I took so much crap from him for so long!), because of his own stupid mistakes, not because of whatever I did in the past!!!!

Will he ever realize that it was his own fault to lose me? Will he realize that I'm a great catch and that he was the one to make himself unhappy and not me? That he lost a great girl over his own childish behaviour?

View related questions: broke up, crush, get back together, insecure, jealous, revenge

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008):

You reap what you sow my friend. Next time refuse to talk about your past.

Good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008):

It's very normal for a guy to have a very hard time dealing with his GF's past sexual history. It's not about childishness or maturity or ego, it's just a natural difference in the genders.

And it's not like guys (or some girls) are choosing to feel this way. If you think it's wrecking things for you, imagine his position: Deep down he knows he's not being reasonable but he can't just decide to turn off his feelings about it because they're getting inconvenient. The more he cares about you, the more severly that his feelings about your past will torture him.

But what did you really do? You mentioned talking about a band with your ex?

Well, THAT is just plain stupid.

I understand a guy having trouble with his GF's past in principle but it's supposed to be about sex & relationships. Not stupid little stuff like that. If it's not about bigger things than this, then I agree your BF just needs to grow up.

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A male reader, countryboy United States +, writes (2 May 2008):

wow this sounds alot like my best friend. him and his girlfriend were dating off and on for about a year and a half.. and throughout that time me and his girlfriend became close friends. but nothing more just really good friends. and she would call me for advice all the time when they were fighting. and even though he is my best friend, i still told her that he was the dumbass and didnt realize what he was loosing. i just told her like im going to tell you. maby you should let him go for a while and then maby then he will realize what a dumbass he was for leaving u in the first place.. anyways good luck with everything. i hope i was helpful.

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