A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has recently asked for a long break which he wants until we're married! But that's for about 5 years, and i don't know how i'm meant to cope with it. I feel so lost and lonely and more than ever i need him by my side at the moment. I don't want to tell him that this is how i feel in case he gets even more depressed, i just want to keep it to myself, i really don't want to talk to him about it. I just cry all the time and can't sleep at night, and i'm so confused and feel so lost and alone...please help me!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): He doesn't want to be with you but he is afraid to lose you at the same time for selfish reasons of his own. Therefore, he has a ridiculous request for you to wait 5 years while he gets his kicks with other people and has fun enjoying his youth. He feels that in 5 years he will be ready to settle down & that hopefully you'll wait for him in case he doesn't find anyone else at that point & still feels the same (wating to get married) He will probably not even want to be married in 5 years. How old will he be then 21-22? That is when most people START partying & going out to bars & clubs, etc. Honey, move on with your life & let him live his. He does not know what he wants right now, let alone in 5 years. You are both still kids, you shouldn't even be talking about marriage. SO much can change in 5 years. I broke up with my boyfriend, married someone else, had 2 kids, bought a house, quit my job all in the last 3 years.. Trust me, in 5 years from now you won't even be thinking about this fool. Move on. You're better than this.
A
female
reader, tick-tick-boom +, writes (12 April 2008):
 I dont really understand how or why that would work.
It's probably better if you do talk to him about it because he more than likley will feel the same way.
Atleast talk to someone! Because it will atleast make it easier and less stress ful for you.
The only other thing i'd suggest is if you split up because hes obviously hurting you and prehaps you'd be better off with someone else who is actually there for you.
Good Luck X
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A
male
reader, scottishguy +, writes (12 April 2008):
hi there, you seem to be in a bit of a pickle. you really need to talk to your boyfried about this, i no u might be scared of talkin but you need to tell him how u feel... 5 years is a long time. in the last 5 years 4 of my friends have had kids, got married, some of my friends have even died. alot can happen!! so speak to him tell him how u feel, what u want and please tell him he's stupid expecting someone to wait 5years while your on a break. if u dont talk to him u will end up regretting it.
good luck!!
xx
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