A
male
age
22-25,
Forgotten_Me
writes:I am a 25 year old male that has had a few substantial relationships in my day, but my last "girlfriend" simply stays implanted in my head. As we dated I found myself falling more and more deeply in love with her, but she didn't feel the same way. Though we are still extremely good friends that talk on a daily basis after a year of being apart, my feelings haven't changed towards her. Still, a year later I'm comparing potential daters to her and second guessing my decisions in life. The girl in question and I, obviously separated on mutual terms, but my life is consumed with her leaving me. What should I do about this? We've talked several times about getting back together, but our lives are in different places! Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (12 April 2008):
 I think all of us have an "ideal" of what we want in a partner, and it's normal when we find someone that comes close to it or even recreates for us another "ideal", that we find it hard to either let go or not compare. What we want changes over time, especially at your young age, and it's important to not close yourself to new experiences that will help you grow. If I were you, I would write down the qualities you would want to have in a partner and those may include many characteristics of your ex, so you can have a list of things that aren't just "specific" to her and compare who you date with that list instead of a person, your ex. Many people will have the traits you want, your ex doesn't hold a personality patent, and this will help you see those traits in others. Good luck!
A
male
reader, rcn + ♥, writes (12 April 2008):
 Your doing this as an attempt to pick up where you left off with your ex. When we have strong feelings, we don't want to change the situation with a chance our feelings may be less than they are.
Treat people as individuals. The relationship with your ex will always be part of your history. Give yourself permission to begin a new chapter and different experiences with someone else.
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A
female
reader, tick-tick-boom  +, writes (12 April 2008):
 Well, that's a tough one.
Listen, If you really,really like her show her.
You have to let her know and sometimes telling her just wont do it.
Show her just how much she means to you, show her how inlove you are and show her she is the BEST person in your life.
If she is currently considering getting back with you thats a HUGE bonus because she obviously likes you.
Man, i hope it works out for you!
Good Luck X
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