A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship for three years, two of which I lived with the guy and we were engaged to be married next year. I began having doubts quite a while ago but stuck it out to see if things changed, which they didn't. During the last month or so of my relationship with this guy, I got talking to a guy at work, we talked about moving in together, also on the basis of doing up a new house that he is buying. He too had been in a relationship for 3 years, which broke up 4 months ago. I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago and we have been seeing each other since (we haven't as yet slept together). Everything seemed fine until this weekend. I stayed at his, again we haven't yet had any relations. He asked me to text him later on and I did, but it took ages for him to respond and he was the same on Sunday, So I have asked him if something is different between us, he has said that all of a sudden the seriousness has hit him and he doesn't know if us getting into a serious relationship is a good idea and that he wants to think about it... what do I do?!
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at work, broke up, engaged, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (31 October 2007):
 Hi,
there are a couple of positives you can take from this. At least you know the guy isnt just trying to get you into bed. Secondly, he is being upfront about his situation and isnt trying to lead you on.
I'm wondering if you moved a little fast, you only just broke up from your fiancee and already you are talking to this man about moving in with him and making house. I think most people would be reluctant to make this move so soon after breaking up with an old partner. There will still be emotional issues to resolve from the old relationship and everyone needs time to refocus. Then of course all his friends will be talking about the rebound factor.
I would suggest you talk to him and say that you understand that maybe things are moving a bit quickly so how about taking it nice and easy. You obviously enjoy each others company, why dont you contiune to hang out together and see where it takes you?
Good luck!!
A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (30 October 2007):
 Hello.
I think after three years in a relationship if you start to have doubts and the situation does not recover then it is O.K to leave that situation, but it is not a good idea to go into another relationship when you are both on the rebound,it is also not a very good idea to get involved with a work college these affairs mainly end in heart break,it seems that he has decided he now want to look for a more casual relationship with other woman, if this is the case then you would be wiser not giving in to him and finding some one else who want a long term secure relationship like yourself.
hope this helps you.
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