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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Me and a guy friend from school used to have a causal thing, when we were both single. We'd meet up and sometimes sleep together. I stupidly ended up liking him more than i should, like these things tend to happen. Anyway, that ended and he got a girlfriend then a few months later i got a boyfriend. We're both still seeing our gf and bf's. We agreed to stay friends when it ended, Even though i was hurt i didn't feel i had any right to be so i pretended i was fine.We met up 2 days ago and i went round to see him because we hadn't see each other for a while. Long story short, we ended up sleeping together. I think he could tell i was regretting it because he stopped half way through and said we didn't have to carry on. We went back downstairs and talked instead. I was very upset but i held back the tears.About 10 mins later i left. He gave me a lift home because it was raining. I said i'd walk be he insisted. He could tell i was unhappy and kept saying it was ok and it didn't matter because nobody would know what happened.He held my hand in the car and kept saying "are you ok?". When we got to my place he hugged me goodbye in the car. I told him it was probably best that we don't see each other anymore. He looked at me and said that he's not going to stop seeing me. I just said "ok" and got out the car.He text me a few minutes afterwards and asked if i was alright and again said he wasn't going to stop seeing me just because of what happened. My head's all over the place and i'm still very upset. What should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): imagine how his girlfriend would feel if she knew. He's cheating on her, that's not a good character.
why do you want to even entertain the thought of being 'with' someone who has this kind of a character? friends don't let friends do "bad" things or encourage them in it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): Neither of you should be in a relationship.You need to do what you need to do, and leave him out of it.You don't want the other guy, your bf, you want him - the ex-no-commitment guy, and feel rejected, and sleeping with him was a way of making yourself feel better about yourself. Problem is, it is cheating, and it doesn't work to make you feel better.This guy didn't find you "commitment material", and you stuck with it for a while, a long while. This is a terrible blow to your ego. You wanted the commitment, not to be a booty call.But, because of these issues and your inability to deal with them constructively, you have not hurt someone else, namely your bf. He doesn't deserve this, break it off, don't tell him why in detail, but make sure he understands that a past relationship has really messed up your mind about yourself, and specifically relationship wise and you need to work on yourself before you do any more damage to anyone else.Do not tell him you cheated on him with the past guy, unless he won't leave you alone, or unless you someday get back together in the future. If you do continue, then he deserves to know, and you need to tell him.But, you are not ready for long term relationships, and probably need some counseling to figure out why you did what you did. Don't think you can short cut this, you can't. People cheat because of something that is lacking in themselves, not because of something that someone else has or something that someone else lacks.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): I don't see any question here.
He wants to cheat on his GF with you. You don't want to cheat on your BF with him. So don't do it.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 June 2011):
 I think the best thing that you can do is to avoid him. It does sound like he cares about you. But he is now in a relationship and so are you and I really don't think staying friends would be the best situation because I really don't think that you can trust yourself around this bloke. Therefore tell him that you are going to stop seeing him as you regret what you done and think it is for the best as to much has happened for you and him to stay friends.
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