A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:He dumped me, didnt even care to tell me. Is it possible that I am at great fault and I should apologize, though I already did it once and he didn't get back yet? I miss him, love him. We were knowing each other for about 2 years.. since he was out of state we got to see each other once in 2 months or 3... He had to take care of his financial side and his priorities have changed and also the responsibilities.. But I've been longing for him to propose because he keeps things bottled up and that makes me more insecure. He had an ex before me, they were on for 5 years and he dumped her, so I was more anxious that I don't lose him.. I've been honest and transparent, didn't play games.. Earlier he used to say things but now quite nothing of it.. He had been stressed and for me I had been keeping too much of patience.. He was busy all the time and called me only when he was back, so the scene was quite the opposite of what it was. Though I kept mum on that, he knew that I expected a lot of him.. I did tell him thatI wanted to see more of him and get close to his family.. he had shown me some very special times and had made me feel beautiful but when it came to the commiting issue, I felt I was pushing... but though other things were the same, he didn't use the affectionate words anymore... had removed me once from everything coz he felt that I wanted to get physical and he didn't, but I had a devotional approach and nothing bad.. then after a month of zero communication he realized so came back saying sorry that it won't happen again... I agreed and things were normal..After 3 months of that, he kept busy and when had time, we met etc.. then once we had a wonderful time tht day, and I had got more emotional.. he was to take me out after his week's work, and his problems were also about to get solved. Had told him to give me a treat.. I waited for 3 weeks and he didnt.. therefore I confronted by calling him up and he just didn't answer... 2 days after that he deleted me from every place and that's it.. I passed on a message that I was sorry if I had been wrong but I didn't mean anything negative and I adored him so much... but he didn't come back yet...I don't know if I should try again on what had happened or what my mistake was.. What haunts is if he carries a bad image of me, which I'd hate.. even if it's my fault, I'd like to know about it so that I know what to blame myself for. I can't get to a conclusion coz he kept showing that he liked me but kept escaping when it came to saying things.. Everything in is life is the same just me subtracted, he is out with friends whereas I am concerned on what is it that I am sided by him... did he feel bad removing me or what he did was what I deserved coz I might have pushed him... don't really understand.. What should I do? plz suggest, Thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): Hey girl,
I think you need to just let the situation go. I think that he has already moved on and you need to, too. Unfortnantly he has already "deleted" you from his life so to speak and chasing after him only makes him see that he can trail you along if he wants. You need to just move on and find someone else. Go out and have fun with your friends and family, or try something new like a sport, gym, book, etc. That way you'll keep yourself and your mind busy.
If you do that and let yourself be truely happy, who knows? Another great guy will come your way.
Hope I helped alil, take care and good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): I think you must leave him alone. Don't contact him for now, maybe he contacts you in the future, but if not, this was a painful experience and you will have to learn to move on with your life. You have time to look at yourself and to learn from your mistakes.
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