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He seemed very into me, so why did things change?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 September 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 September 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, *bnxtc writes:

A while ago i met a guy while out for a friends birthday. I started talking to this guy everyday (through text and over the phone cause we both work a lot and he lives about an hour away) he called me babe and always had nice things to say..needless to say I really started to like him. He had to go last min out of town for his friends birthday he did invite me but i had to work all week so we agreed i would me him out there Arty the end of the week for the night... I got there e Arlyn Friday morning we spent an amazing day together... even though my car had broke down... anyways at the end of the day I had to deal w my car so I called aaa meet the guy at my car he fixed it and as I was getting in it to go back to have a good time hanging out he and his friends met me at the gate and he had my things he told me it would be better if I left cause they were going to another friends house and I tried to act like no big deal even though I was sad and left i did my own thing and noticed even though he would reply if I called our text him but he would call or text me anymore... I asked him what happened I noticed things were different he said he was stressed.. them started making excuses to not hang out and essentially just stopped replying... I don't understand what happened I thought we had a great time together he seemed very into me so why would he do these things and what would make him change his minds like that in the time someone fixed my car which took a whopping 30 min??? did I do something wrong he said no it wasn't me then was it another girl? why couldn't he be honest with me?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012):

I don't see your confusion OP he's just not interested. He thought he'd give you a try, then when it came down to to it he realized he wasn't interested and then instead of being a gentleman and being honest he just blew you off and hoped you'd get the hint.

It's nothing to do with anything you did, unless of course you were the one texting and calling him the whole and were far too forward and smothered him. Even then though he should have the decency to tell you straight. But you know what OP? Most people are cowardly dicks when it comes to rejecting someone. Especially women, although my experiences of being rejected were only women, so my views are a bit skewed.

The amount of times I've been rejected or guys I know have been rejected with lies and the old 'ignore them and they'll go away' trick is huge, most women do that. "I have a boyfriend" then you see them kissing two other guys that night, "I'm not interested in being with anyone" then going home with a random guy that night and then the worst of all is the ultra cowards who agree to meet up with you because they don't have the heart to reject you right there but then they just ignore your texts and phone calls.

My point is OP, it's a rejection nothing more than that, never take rejection personally because it never is. he was a jerk the way he went about it but most people are and I'm afraid you'll have to get used to it. Seriously if you're going to take it so seriously and to heart every time it's just going to dent your confidence too much. I'd be a basket case by now if I let this kind of rejection get me down. It's pointless and if you ask me if he's this much of an immature, inconsiderate and cowardly douche then can you imagine what a relationship with him would have been like? I always think of this kind of rejection as a lucky escape because the guy is obviously an asshole.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (10 September 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntWhat happened was while YOU felt the connection he did not.

and he was just taking the chicken way out.

he has no clue how to be an adult and deal with conflict so he just made the choice for you.

you are better off without a man who can't talk about his problems.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI'm guessing there was another girl at the second house he wanted to hook up with. Or that he was already dating.

I would stop talking to him and move on.

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A female reader, BondGirl72 United States +, writes (10 September 2012):

BondGirl72 agony auntHe sounds like a jerk. I have no other reason why he would treat you with such disrespect. Just accept it for what it is...he is a jerk and you will find someone better. Try not to dwell on it because a lot of these guys have no clue what they want in life or why they do the things they do.

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