A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I caught one of those 48 hours viruses. Yesterday, I got a nasty headache (I rarely get headaches so when I have one I can't even see straight) and horrible muscle pain.So yesterday I got home at 5pm and went to bed. I eventually texted my 29yo boyfriend, and he told me he was worried and that he'd just grab a snack and stop by. I waited until 12am, when he texted me saying he was so very sorry, but he had fallen asleep. I was angry, but because it was his first day of work after vacation, I kind of understood. We agreed to meet this morning.We met and he was very caring, nice, sweet as usual.By 11am I felt sick again, so I told him I'd just go home and get to bed. He agreed and said he'd stop by around 3pm. At 4 I texted him if he was still coming over. It's 6pm and no news from him. He has a quick meeting at 7pm, and he was supposed to have dinner at my place around 8.This makes me sad. I know I'm not dying, but it would be nice if he could stay with me for a few hours, just to hold me a bit. The whole oversleeping think bothered me, but I saw he was sorry so I just brushed it off.I feel better now, but I've a ridiculous teenagerish urge of pretending I'm twice as bad just to make him feel terrible about not showing up.Anyways. How should I deal with this? He looks very concerned by text and in person, but then he just stands me up.. Should I make a scene and act angry or just tell him I am disappointed because he left me sick and alone twice?
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (6 March 2013):
 i wouldn't be so hurt about the fact that i was sick and he didn't come take care of me so much as just the general fact that he keeps standing you up.
if there's one thing i can't stand, it's inconsistency. if you tell me you're going to come over and you disappear and i don't hear from you at all, it really frustrates me. why can't he just show up? or at least send you a text or call and let you know he's going to have to reschedule? that's what normal people do.
the other night, why couldn't he send you a text and let you know he was exhausted and was just going to crash but he'd make it up to you later? and why today has it been hours since he was supposed to be there and he hasn't bothered to let you know where he is? that's rude, thoughtless, and just plain uncalled for. i wouldn't stand for it. sick or healthy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): I'd chill out and just tell him that you were pretty pissed about being stood up by him. Tell him you understand that his circumstances have changed jobs-wise but that you at least want him to not make plans he can't keep as you feel awful being stood up like that.
In other words be honest without being petty or trying to guilt him.
He's stood you up quite a bit lately and that's enough to piss anyone off. don't make plans you can't keep and if something comes up have the decency to let the person know, it's just common courtesy.
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