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He says now is the time to get married. I'm feeling pressured about this. What should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 July 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 19 July 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

, please I need your advice. I'm so confused:( so I'm 26, graduate and working. So is my bf. He's 33.

We've been dating for 8 months and he's so bent on getting married. I just feel the pressure cause that's all he talks about! Is 8 months enough to want to get married?

I've told him to give me some time but he says he can't wait cause he has plans for his life and next step right now is to get married.

Seriously? He says he loves me but if he really did won't he give me at least 2yrs to prepare myself? I'm not ready financially and emotionally.

Right now I feel like he just wants a wife and not because he loves me or because I'm the one he wants. I'm so confused and frustrated right now. What should I do?

Does it seem like he loves me or he just wants a wife?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (19 July 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntHe is older than you therefore he probably wants to settle down soon. I can understand that. But it is wrong off him to put pressure on you, you have told him how you feel and he still won't listen to what you want. Trying to pressure you in to something is not a good sign in any relationship, especially when it comes to getting married. You ask if 8 months is enough, and that tells me that you feel it is not, so please stick with what you feel and be true to yourself. You have already asked him to wait and he has refused, if he really wanted to leave then he would. You both need to compromise, sit down and talk to each other about it and see if you can come up with a plan that suits you both. If you are not ready he needs to accept that. If he doesn't then it shows he doesn't care how you feel he just wants a wife by his side .

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 July 2016):

Honeypie agony auntSounds like he wants a wife, and you fit the bill. Doesn't mean you HAVE to marry him RIGHT now.

IF you are not ready, you are not ready.

For some 8 months is enough time, for others it's not.

I think I would tell him if he wants a wife RIGHT now, you can't BE that woman for him. Because YOU have some goals of your own to reach BEFORE getting married. If YOU are the one HE wants, he will wait. If he JUST wants a wife, he will marry anyone.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (17 July 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntIt seems like he wants a wife right now and you'll do. 8 months is okay to be thinking about "yeah, I'd like to marry you in a couple of years", but to be basically demanding marriage now, it's way too soon.... and rude.

I'd consider if this is the guy you really want.

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