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He says he's afraid of commitment with me, but will still have sex with me...

Tagged as: Age differences, Breaking up, Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 July 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 July 2008)
A male United States age 30-35, *taliano1188 writes:

so i met this guy who is 28 years old. hes a great guy and has everything ive wanted in someone, well im only 20 so there is an eight year difference. everything was going great, he shows how much he cares for me but one day said maybe he wants to relate to someone on his own level. so we took a break but everytime i come over we have sex together and act like nothing ever happened in the past. he told me that he likes this other guy but this guy doesnt like him at all and he feels like hes getting the same treatment from this guy that im getting from him and hes hurting. i really love him and care for him and he says he wants to be with but is afraid of committement! what do i do? i dont want to just walk away. he means too much to me!

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A male reader, ChiRaven United States +, writes (6 July 2008):

ChiRaven agony auntThe "guy afraid of commitment" story is practically a classic by now. And it's usually just an excuse to continue getting sex from somebody (that would be YOU) without having to take any responsibility or accept any limits on who he can get to next.

He undoubtedly has some feelings for you, but they are definitely taking a back seat to his other quests. This is not likely to change. Unless you're prepared to live with that situation indefinitely, you're better off out of that relationship.

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A female reader, huneygyrl United States +, writes (6 July 2008):

huneygyrl agony auntIt is obvious he doesn't know what he wants. He's still having sex with you while he waits to get a response from the other party..what does that tell you?

Why put yourself in a situation where RED FLAGS are shown? He wants sex and you're giving it to him. He wants more from the other party when you're just a booty call.

Protect your feelings and dignity.

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A female reader, Miss Del La Rosa United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2008):

Miss Del La Rosa agony auntYou should tell him exactually how you feel and if he dosent like it hes not the one for you.

In a relationship you need respect and this guy dosent sound like he respects you if hes sleeping with you and then acting like nothing happend, however if he dosent know hoe you feel maybe hes scared to show you how he feels. the only way to find out is to talk.

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