A
female
age
41-50,
*ocha177
writes:A guy I have been seeing on and off for several months told me that he loves me and wants to marry me. He didn't sound like he was expecting to hear it back but, I wanted to repeat it however, I didn't because I'm not at I love you yet and I assumed it was the alcohol talking. Now he isn't talking to me, and I don't completely understand whats going on.I care about him a lot however, we keep unintentionally sending each other mixed signals. In the beginning about 10 months ago things were great, but since then we only see each other maybe once or twice a month and try to make things work. We are always excited to see each other but, after hanging out he goes back to texting me. Because, of this when he does say something he means such as I want to marry you, I never say anything back because, I know that next week I wont hear from him. I see it as if you really care, or love me then you will pick up the phone and call me verses sitting there texting. Is he afraid of confrontation? What is the problem.
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female
reader, Lovely Sweet Laura  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 I personally believe actions speak louder than words. Sounds like this guy knows all the right words to say and then doesn't back them up with any action. I feel he is feeding you the line...because he thinks that you want to hear it...if he isn't even ready to put any effort into a steady relationship where you see each other regularly than why would he even be thinking about marriage. It doesn't fit. He probably used that line on girls before and discovered that by saying it he wouldn't have to put as much effort into things as it would please whomever he told it to enough that the effort thereafter wasn't necessary. I would say do not chase after this guy. If he means what he says you will soon know. When you care about someone the way he has described his feelings for you than you can't help but notice it. This type of thing is for certain or it isn't~ you shouldn't have to second guess it. Best of Luck!
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 You may need to be proactive, its possible that when you didnt react when he said he loved you and wanted to marry, that he thought you didnt care.
You say if he really cared he would pick up the phone, this is not the 1950's so if you really cared you could pick up the phone, you dont have to take it fast, just say hey, havent heard from you for a while, I hope everything is okay, what are you doing on Saturday (or Friday or Tuesday or whenever) how about we catch a movie, or the weekend markets, or go look at the Christmas lights.
Grab life by the lapels and give it a bloody good shake!
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