A
female
age
,
*lutonia
writes:I've been with my b/friend for 5 yrs. I'm very open minded as in making allowances for other peoples idiosyncracies...But there's never any kissing -which I need to light my spark, and he only ever likes to enter me from behind. It makes me feel like I'm being used. I 've never told him that I need kissing because I dont want to prompt him as it wouldnt feel genuine.Our sex life is very constricted and mechanical. I never initiate sex because I need to wait to see if he wants me. I feel ugly and screwed up even though I'm considered to be quite attractive. Lately he's confessed to me that he'd like to have sex with other women !! But he says he loves me. Am I dumb?
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (3 July 2009):
 Open up your mouth and tell him what you want. He will never know what turns you on if you don't tell him. He thinks everything is hunky-dory because you haven't said anything! Tell him what's wrong with your sexual relationship and how you would like things to be different. Then try some new tricks with him. He may be so surprised that he'll be after you all the time! :)
If he still wants to have sex with other women and you are not comfortable with an open relationship of that sort, tell him he's free to date and have sex with anyone he wants to because the relationship is over.
Good luck.
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