A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a boy who I enjoyed spending time with, he was so sad when I first met him, he didn't know a lot about the world outside of where he lived. so I did what I could to start showing him how somethings could look through other perspectives. eventually I fell for him, and he seemed to of fell for me too. I was so happy haha. anyways, slowly I think we were both in love, things were wonderful, til well. a few months ago he just became absorbing himself into sports and stuff, which was fine; because Im sporty too. But I hadn't realized til he had told me. He said he'd fallen out of love with me, that he didn't love me anymore but that he still needed me, and that before he had been so depressed, and he needs me, but he doesn't love me.I don't know what to do. I loved him so much, I still do. but it wasn't real, for the last six months he just told me he loved me because he felt guilty that he didn't. How am I supposed to keep being close to him, helping him with depression when he doesn't love me? I can't stop suddenly hurting and then being OK and then hurting again, i need help, haha.
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female
reader, xxmissxx +, writes (13 September 2007):
 Depression can do strange things to the mind, it can make you say and do things you either dont mean or dont normally do.
stand by him.
yes he has lied about loving you, but he likes you as hes said himself he needs you, so stick with him, help him through this depression, and who knows, once hes on the road to recovery, it might leave a little extra room for love to grow in his heart for you. But while hes ill like this, itll take alot more time for him to feel anything.
So just be a friend for now and support him, thats if you can find it in your heart to forgive him for misleading you, although i seriously think its just the illness talking.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): Why on earth did he tell you that he was only saying he loved you because he felt guilty - that's obviously a very hurtful thing to say and it's no wonder you are confused beacuse he is sending out different, and confusing, signals to you. He says he doesn't love you, but he needs you - and all the while you are left half in and half out of a relationship. You are not getting your needs me by spending any time with him, just causing yourself more pain. Like you said yourself, you can't keep hurting. I would suggest ending all contact with him for a while. I know you might even be able to envisage that at the moment, because of the way you feel about him, but he has said he doesn't love you, and you deserve more than to be 'needed' to help someone when they are down. What are you getting from that? You are not the samaritans, you are a person with a right to be treated with respect and love. Best of luck XX
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